| When you are a divorced parent, you've got your | | | | Parenting Plan, and it takes thinking problems through |
| hands quite full. There never seems to be enough time | | | | thoroughly to unfold that courage. One of the nicest |
| in the day to get everything done, and your kids can | | | | aspects of parenting is that the things you need to do |
| fire questions at you more rapidly than a cherry-spitting | | | | the job are all built in. Yep. You had them when you |
| contest. Arguments over dinner and homework | | | | were born. You've been building them while you lived |
| abound. Sometimes, you can get overwhelmed and | | | | your own life. Doing a parent's job is like earning a |
| want to throw in the towel. | | | | Doctoral degree. D. in strengthening virtues! |
| Children don't understand overwhelm. They don't | | | | What happens is that your kids provide some test for |
| understand not having enough money. Your children | | | | you - they test your patience, or your courage, or your |
| never think to give you any up front heads up that | | | | ability to love. And you have the option to say "Yes, I |
| they're going to have to go buy school supplies for | | | | can" or "No, I can't.There are times when you might be |
| their projects. They don't understand that bunches of | | | | thinking that you just "cannot" but your force yourself |
| kids yelling and laughing can get on your nerves. They | | | | to say "I can" and then you just do it. Have you ever |
| don't understand their arguing can drive you nuts. They | | | | noticed that in life, when you make a commitment, |
| don't see the full picture. | | | | somehow in someway the fulfillment for that |
| But you do. And it's the full picture that we want to talk | | | | commitment seems to just happen. |
| about here, because it's that full picture that will help | | | | When I was a young parent, I needed a reliable car. |
| you to unfold the courage you'll need in order to | | | | Car wasn't in the budget that month, but we needed |
| persevere with your Great Parenting Plan. You have | | | | that car. I made the commitment. I don't remember |
| made a plan, haven't you? You're not just winging it, | | | | ever not making that payment easily. Magically, when |
| are you? | | | | you make a commitment, whatever you've committed |
| The Great Parenting Plan is where you are all dressed | | | | to actually happens - somehow, someway. |
| up, dabbing the tears from your eyes, watching your | | | | It will happen the same way with bringing up the |
| child walk down the aisle at his graduation. It could be a | | | | courage to persevere. If you determine that, by gosh, |
| high school graduation or a college graduation. That all | | | | you will persevere in doing the absolute best job you |
| depends on your plan. You want to take yourself in | | | | can to be their mom or dad, the courage that it takes |
| thought out to that point in the future where your child | | | | in the moment (that'd be the moment when you're |
| graduates and begins to move off into his own life, fully | | | | exhausted and they need a ride downtown,) you will |
| self-sufficient and capable. You've got to see the | | | | bring up the courage to set yourself aside and provide |
| picture of how to get your child to that "dream" place | | | | what they need from you. |
| from where each of you is at the present time. | | | | You'll do it repeatedly throughout the tenure of your |
| Working backwards from that moment in the plan, but | | | | divorce. You won't remember these moments when |
| always keeping it in the forefront of your thinking, will | | | | you see them at their graduation ceremony and you |
| help you get through those challenging moments that | | | | will be such a proud divorced mom or dad. You'll forget |
| create overwhelm, those moments when you might | | | | about all the overwhelm. Oh they'll have told you "Dad, |
| not even want to be a mom or dad anymore. There is | | | | puhle-e-eze don't cry at my graduation" and you'll try. |
| no quitting option though. Your kids are here and they | | | | You'll really try. Only you will know of all the times |
| deserve your best. It is your golden opportunity to | | | | when you set yourself aside to care for them, of all |
| summon up all of your resources and give it one heck | | | | those hundreds of details you handled to be a good |
| of a go. | | | | parent, and you won't be able to help those escaping |
| It takes courage to persevere with the Great | | | | tears. They're tears of joy. I know. |