| Simple things matter. Young children
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| | try "I think you've worked hard today!"
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| want their parent's attention. This is
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| | or "You looked really happy when you
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| why good behavior, appropriately praised,
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| | heard Gran was coming to stay" or "I'll
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| tends to be repeated - the child knows
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| | be glad when it's the weekend - I love it
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| that the parent will take the time to
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| | when the family is all together".
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| tell the child that they are pleased.
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| | Talking about feelings means the child is
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| Sometimes, children go to extremes of bad
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| | very likely to respond. They know they
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| behavior (for example, shouting or
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| | are the only ones who can say how they
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| tantrums) in an attempt to get their
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| | feel - so there can't be a "wrong" reply.
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| parents to pay attention.
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| | Even speaking on the phone, if you can't
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| Your child needs your undivided attention
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| | be with them, is a chance to make your
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| every day. This might be for as brief a
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| | child feel valued and respected. It is
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| period as five minutes - but it has to be
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| | essential that there aren't any
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| time totally devoted to them. Reading
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| | distractions. Don't call them when
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| the newspaper and half-heartedly
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| | you're sitting in front of the TV or
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| listening to your child doesn't count!
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| | computer. Or driving. You have to
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| Show that all of your concentration is
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| | concentrate harder on a phone call for it
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| just on them. Answer their questions or
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| | to be meaningful to a child. You have to
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| become completely absorbed by what they
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| | make up for the fact that they can't see
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| are doing or telling you. You just have
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| | you smiling at them, or that you're
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| to be fully engaging with them. One
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| | nodding to encourage them. Make yourself
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| obvious opportunity is at the end of the
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| | comfortable and close your eyes if you
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| school day, when you ask how they got on
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| | can - try to picture their face as they
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| - and really try to understand the
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| | speak to you.
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| importance of what they have to say.
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| | When a child realises that every day
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| Don't let your child think they're being
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| | without fail, you will find the time to
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| interrogated, or they will try to end the
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| | talk to them about what really matters to
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| conversation as soon as possible.
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| | them, their unwanted, challenging
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| Children often don't like to be asked
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| | behavior will start to peter out. You'll
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| direct questions. Talking around the
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| | understand them a bit better - and the
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| subject can be a better way of helping
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| | whole house will be more harmonious as a
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| them to open up. A simple comment can
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| | result.
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| sometimes get them to start speaking -
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