| Simple things matter. Young children want their parent's | | | | you've worked hard today!" or "You looked really |
| attention. This is why good behavior, appropriately | | | | happy when you heard Gran was coming to stay" or |
| praised, tends to be repeated - the child knows that | | | | "I'll be glad when it's the weekend - I love it when the |
| the parent will take the time to tell the child that they | | | | family is all together". Talking about feelings means the |
| are pleased. Sometimes, children go to extremes of | | | | child is very likely to respond. They know they are the |
| bad behavior (for example, shouting or tantrums) in an | | | | only ones who can say how they feel - so there can't |
| attempt to get their parents to pay attention. | | | | be a "wrong" reply. |
| Your child needs your undivided attention every day. | | | | Even speaking on the phone, if you can't be with them, |
| This might be for as brief a period as five minutes - | | | | is a chance to make your child feel valued and |
| but it has to be time totally devoted to them. Reading | | | | respected. It is essential that there aren't any |
| the newspaper and half-heartedly listening to your child | | | | distractions. Don't call them when you're sitting in front |
| doesn't count! Show that all of your concentration is | | | | of the TV or computer. Or driving. You have to |
| just on them. Answer their questions or become | | | | concentrate harder on a phone call for it to be |
| completely absorbed by what they are doing or telling | | | | meaningful to a child. You have to make up for the |
| you. You just have to be fully engaging with them. One | | | | fact that they can't see you smiling at them, or that |
| obvious opportunity is at the end of the school day, | | | | you're nodding to encourage them. Make yourself |
| when you ask how they got on - and really try to | | | | comfortable and close your eyes if you can - try to |
| understand the importance of what they have to say. | | | | picture their face as they speak to you. |
| Don't let your child think they're being interrogated, or | | | | When a child realises that every day without fail, you |
| they will try to end the conversation as soon as | | | | will find the time to talk to them about what really |
| possible. Children often don't like to be asked direct | | | | matters to them, their unwanted, challenging behavior |
| questions. Talking around the subject can be a better | | | | will start to peter out. You'll understand them a bit |
| way of helping them to open up. A simple comment | | | | better - and the whole house will be more harmonious |
| can sometimes get them to start speaking - try "I think | | | | as a result. |