| I am proud of my parents because they gave me a | | | | Once, my girlfriend’s parents picked her up at the |
| great childhood! It was not perfect-perfect, but I had a | | | | hospital because the “love of her life” hit her! |
| VERY happy time with lots of love and affection from | | | | When I asked her why she was still with the guy, she |
| both of my parents and my grandma. Now that I am | | | | said that he was an amazing, intelligent, funny person, |
| an adult I understand that I got very lucky, because | | | | but sometimes he cannot control his temper. She |
| most people don’t have it for one reason or | | | | added: “When he is in a good mood he can make |
| another. | | | | me very happy. But nobody is perfect”. |
| Once I had a conversation with a very old friend | | | | I was speechless! “Nobody is perfect!?” He |
| (I’ve known her since I was five). We talked about | | | | could kill her! |
| the good old times, and I realized that one of my | | | | It proved that most of these decisions people make is |
| childhood memories is connected to an instance of | | | | because of the money issues or fear of something. |
| abuse in families. Our family used to live in the | | | | There are different fears: fear of being alone, fear that |
| apartment building. One of our neighbors was an artist. | | | | nobody will like you, and fear of not having children. |
| The neighbors all said he was very talented and | | | | Fear, fear, fear. We cannot be prisoners of fear and |
| recognized by the society. | | | | let other people tell us what to do! |
| However, that guy was an alcoholic and hit his wife all | | | | I was thinking about abuse a lot. Why do women let |
| the time. I remember that I could hear his yelling and his | | | | themselves be in this situation? I am not only talking |
| wife screaming! It was so odd to me at the time. I | | | | about physical abuse. I also mean emotional abuse. I |
| remember when my parents and other neighbors tried | | | | talked with my mom about my friend. My mom said |
| to talk to him many times. For a few weeks we had a | | | | that some women couldn’t stand up for |
| quiet existence but it never last for long. Women in the | | | | themselves and be strong enough to oppose the |
| neighborhood talked to his wife. They were trying to | | | | abuse. Probably those women were abused when |
| convince her to make a decision, to call to the police or | | | | they were children, got used to it and brought the |
| to leave him. But she always refused. She said she | | | | terrible relationship pattern into their adulthood. |
| had three sons, she didn’t have a job and even if | | | | For some people childhood is the happiest time of their |
| she did she couldn’t support three boys by herself. | | | | life - for others it is something you have to try to deal |
| So, her choice was to stay with this terrible person! | | | | with forever. I would like to give some parenting advice |
| Women stay in abusive relationships not only in the | | | | to parents who have daughters. My father was |
| situations when they have nowhere to go or no | | | | always very gentle and affectionate to me when I |
| money to survive. Very often they stay with abusive | | | | was a child, and it gave me a great deal of confidence |
| men because they think that the guy “loves” | | | | in life. Always respect your child. Be aware that you |
| them and they “love” him. This is hard to believe | | | | are responsible for your daughter’s future, and that |
| for a lot of people but unfortunately it is what they truly | | | | you want to be the kind of parent that sets a good |
| think! | | | | relationship example! |