| I just watched another episode of the popular | | | | freedom to enjoy all they are allowed. When they |
| television program "Nanny 911" and again was | | | | have rules and limits, they know how far they can |
| surprised by how difficult it is for some individuals to | | | | safely go. |
| parent their children. It seems that many don't have the | | | | Many of the clients who come to see me for help with |
| skills required while others seem to think that they | | | | parenting are afraid of upsetting the child, want to |
| would rather be a friend than a parent for the child. | | | | ensure that they aren't the "meanest" parent of the |
| A "good parent" is one who does everything possible | | | | group, or make threats without follow through. |
| to meet the needs and the wants of the child even if it | | | | Imagine what your career would be like if the boss |
| is not in the child's best interest. This person tends to | | | | allowed the newest person hired to decide how |
| let the "tail wag the dog". Curfews, rules and | | | | everything would be done? The lack of experience |
| responsibilities are non-existent or inconsistent. The | | | | would quickly lead to a situation of chaos. The same |
| child thinks s/he has a "good parent" because that | | | | thing happens when adults allow children to make all |
| person allows the child to be in charge. | | | | the decisions. |
| A "responsible parent" is one who ensures that the | | | | Love is not enough when it comes to parenting. |
| child has and does what is good for the child. | | | | Children need rules, consistency, example and |
| Bedtimes, homework and taking responsibility are | | | | consequences. Giving in to them because you are |
| valued. The parent and child respect themselves and | | | | afraid of losing them or because it seems "easier" at |
| each other in a healthy manner. | | | | the time, doesn't help them to mature and, in fact, can |
| Years ago, psychologists conducted a research | | | | result in bigger difficulties with time. I remember a |
| project. They gave children a soccer ball and allowed | | | | retiring judge who once told me "today's biggest |
| them to play in an open field that was surrounded by | | | | problem is that children do not respect authority". You |
| busy streets. The observed the children and measured | | | | are the first authority in a child's life. How you treat that |
| their activity. A large fence was constructed around | | | | responsibility will set the tone for your child. |
| the field and the researchers again observed the | | | | Not everyone has the luxury of inviting "Nanny 911" to |
| children. They were surprised to see that without the | | | | help with parenting. There are, however, several |
| fence, the children tended to play in the middle of the | | | | parenting programs and psychologists available in |
| field whereas after the fence was built, they played | | | | communities to help you to get on right track. Your |
| right up to it. | | | | children will be thankful that you loved them enough to |
| Boundaries, like fences, allow children to have the | | | | learn how to be a responsible parent. |