| There is always something that good parents know | | | | have a common goal - development of the child. They |
| and bad parents don't. Today we will speak about | | | | report non-verbally to each other about their |
| parental authority, the one, where children naturally | | | | participation in this common goal. |
| respect their parents and are not afraid of them. This | | | | 3. Sense of duty develops when one watches their |
| level of parental authority can be tested by the | | | | own job |
| willingness of children to obey and not resist their | | | | In cooperation with children a natural sense of duty |
| parents. In a good parent-child relationship the problem | | | | develops. While I cooperate with a person I am more |
| of obedience or resistance of children is resolved on | | | | occupied with how well I fulfill my duty rather than how |
| its own. What do good parents know about these | | | | he fulfills his duty. Good parents teach children that no |
| problems? | | | | one owes anything to anybody. Parents can't demand |
| 1. Children don't obey, they just work together with | | | | anything from another person, they can only demand |
| parents | | | | from themselves. Everyone does his or her job rather |
| Good parents arrange their activity with children so | | | | than jealously watching others and how they do their |
| that there is only one boss, one manager: the work, | | | | job. This is the best way to develop a sense of duty, |
| which must be done. Parents and children share one | | | | where duty becomes joy, not a burden. |
| goal, the job at hand. They work together. They | | | | 4. Equal soul participation instead of equal contribution |
| cooperate. Here is the paradox of authority: for many | | | | How do parents and children become equal if they are |
| people it seems that children obey parents, where in | | | | in fact not equal? Yes, the physical contribution is not |
| fact they don't obey them, and they don't resist; they | | | | equal, but souls can participate equally. Work - |
| simply solve problems together with parents. | | | | together! This doesn't mean that we go together to a |
| 2. Parents become teachers, when they stop teaching | | | | nearby store for fresh bread. But as a parent, I |
| The problem between generations is solved by itself, | | | | participate in this trip: I help the boy to prepare for |
| when, in cooperation with children parents acquire real | | | | shopping, then, I assess the purchase, listen to his |
| authority. Yet, the paradox is that authority arrives only | | | | stories of adventure on the way to the store. What is |
| when parents "stop teaching," in other words, "stop | | | | the boy's part? He is happy to go to the store when |
| preaching." "I stop teaching - and I become a teacher. I | | | | he has the attention of his parent. Therefore such a |
| am not afraid to lose authority, instead I acquire it. This | | | | job is a joy for him! |
| is authority without pressure. My child has a natural | | | | Of course, natural authority doesn't come overnight. |
| respect for me, and I have the same for him. We are | | | | With a great desire, though, parents may reach their |
| not equal by age, but we are equal because of the | | | | goal, and parenting becomes an everlasting happiness, |
| common goal. Together we are interested in it" (Simon | | | | especially sweet when children grow up to be adults, |
| Soloveychik). Those who cooperate in upbringing are | | | | and they teach their children the way their parents |
| not colleagues, as those who know their work and | | | | taught them. |
| report to a boss. People who cooperate in upbringing | | | | |