| Experienced parents know that exercising good | | | | came out he looked great. Life returned back to the |
| parenting skills can be very confusing. You have a | | | | norm, his parents returned to their work, ... and he was |
| good relationship with your teen, you treat them with | | | | back in rehab. He was settling for a potato chip (his |
| respect, and listen to them when they speak. How do | | | | parents attention)that was soggy (going through the |
| they react; by snapping back at you and being | | | | pains of drug abuse and rehab)! This repeated itself a |
| arrogant! It seems that they are trying (and almost | | | | few times until the drugs got the best of him and a little |
| succeeding) to sabotage a great relationship and you | | | | while later he became a statistic. |
| don't know what you are doing wrong. | | | | This "law" doesn't only apply to the crave for attention |
| Sounds familiar? If you want to stay calm, undaunted | | | | but for everything that we really want. For instance, on |
| and continue to love your child become familiar with | | | | the one hand your teen (pre-teen) really wants a |
| and learn "The Law of the Soggy Potato Chip". | | | | relationship with you and they truly enjoy your |
| Psychologist Fitzhugh Dodson wrote in How to | | | | company. However they also want to feel |
| Discipline With Love (1977) that children would rather | | | | independent, the way that they perceive adulthood. |
| have negative attention than no attention at all, just as | | | | Therefore when they feel that you are too close, they |
| children would rather have a soggy potato chip than | | | | forfeit the relationship (the crispiness) in order to feel |
| no potato chip at all. Simply put, the "Law of the Soggy | | | | independent (the potato chip). They would like both of |
| Potato Chip" states that, when there is no choice, the | | | | them, but since the feeling of independence is more |
| second best is also good. | | | | important to them right now they settle for second |
| Jay McGraw in Life Strategies for Teens speaks of | | | | best; independence without the relationship. |
| an extreme case of this with his friend who was | | | | What should you do? Realize that their reaction is |
| popular and whose parents were very busy in their | | | | showing the whole picture and keep up treating them |
| respective careers. He was once caught at a party | | | | with respect and listening to them. You'll see than |
| where there were drugs and his parents sent him to | | | | eventually, after they are more sure with their identity, |
| rehab. He wasn't a heavy user at all, but his parents | | | | they will show their love towards you in a more |
| wanted to be on the safe side. While he was there his | | | | positive way. |
| parents visited him every day and when he finally | | | | |