| Even with the best intentions sometimes we get a | | | | enough; otherwise, it will go right on the list with all the |
| feeling, the feeling becomes thought, and the thought | | | | other goals never achieved. If the "WHY" isn't big |
| becomes a habit-an unproductive one that | | | | enough, the motivation to change won't become a |
| unfortunately goes on automatic pilot. Breaking a bad | | | | driving force. Third, you need to pay attention to |
| habit comes with the ability to overcome the fear of | | | | "WHEN" the trigger hits. The trigger is the physical or |
| changing it by facing it and staring it down. We hold on | | | | emotional cue that lets you know you are about ready |
| to bad habits because they serve a purpose that | | | | to repeat the habit. |
| gives us more comfort or satisfaction than the | | | | Using the above example, the trigger might be that you |
| discomfort and concentrated effort it takes to get rid | | | | hear your child's voice. It will alert you to be vigilant to |
| of it. | | | | stop and shut everything else out, (if possible) make |
| Bad habits give us more pleasure than pain, and it's the | | | | eye contact, and focus totally on what your child is |
| reason we continue to hold on to them. It takes time | | | | saying. An old trick to help with that is to wear an |
| and patience to break the pattern. For example, you | | | | elastic band on your wrist; and when you hear your |
| may have developed the practice of not really listening | | | | child's voice, snap the elastic. It will snap you right into |
| to what your child says because you are too | | | | alertness and a little pain! This old trick is an effective |
| distracted or have developed selective listening. | | | | way distract you from the trigger that precedes the |
| Unfortunately, this less obvious habit can cause a | | | | behavior. |
| breakdown in communicating with your child. | | | | Lastly, decide on a positive behavior to take its place. |
| There are three things you can do to create a more | | | | Create a picture in your mind how the positive habit will |
| positive parenting habit. First, search inside yourself and | | | | build confidence, build better communication, and build a |
| become aware of "WHY" you developed the bad | | | | better relationship with your child. |
| habit. Second, the "WHY" to change has to be big | | | | |