Tips on Parenting

Imagine you are in the Doctor's office waiting roomfor bad behavior, and that's exactly what you're doing
with your two small children, ages 4 and 5 1/2. Theby offering bribes if they stop doing what they
older one begins to punch the younger one in the arm,shouldn't have been doing in the first place. Does the
causing younger one to wail. How do you handle it?real world ever work like that? If your boss caught you
Before I tell you, here's what does not work.stealing a printer and sneaking out the back door, do
Say wearily, "Boys, I need you to be nice to eachyou think he'd say, "Hey, if you put that back, I'll give
other and stop fighting, ok? Can you just stop fighting?"you a raise. Just put that back, OK???" I would say
They're not going to do it. While children love theirthat the barter system simply doesn't work and is
mommy, they don't CARE that you've got 40 dollarsteaching your child the wrong thing. Period.
left in your checking account, and your car is acting up,Another method, ignoring the problem...doesn't work,
and your boss is treating you like crap, and you feelAND it's highly annoying to anyone else around. I have
fat, and you only got 5 hours of sleep last night, andseen children pretty much throwing tantrums in the
you are about 6 loads behind on the laundry and thegrocery store while the mother calmly picks out a
phone's about to be cut off. They love you, but theycouple of pounds of ground beef. I have been in
don't care about adult problems and building stress,someone's home, trying to relax, trying to have a
because guess what? They're not adults. They areconversation with the parents, while their child is racing
naturally self-centered, inexperienced, mostly troublearound, interrupting every 10 seconds, making demands
free children. Let them worry about the big stuff later.and being an overall brat. The parents might huff and
It also won't work to say between clenched teeth, "Ifsigh every now and then or make a feeble attempt at
you two don't stop, we're leaving here. We'll just leaveshushing Jr., but in the end, they choose not to respond,
and go to the car, and then you'll REALLY be inmaking the situation worse. Ironically, once the child is
trouble." Bullshit. You're not leaving, you're not takingfinally distracted by something else, the parents might
them to the car, and they won't be in more troublelook at their guest (me), roll their eyes and grin
than they already are. Threats do not work.sheepishly as if to say, "What are you gonna do? Kids
Over-exaggerated threats especially don't work. Iare kids." I will say this: I am not amused.
know a young mother who will say to herFinally, there is the method of repeating yourself 27
back-seat-fighting-kids at the top of her lungs, "YOUtimes before finally giving up or giving in. This method
GUYS STOP THAT RIGHT NOW, OR I WILL PULLprobably baffles me the most. Why did you expend all
THIS CAR OVER AND PUT YOU ON THE SIDE OFthat energy if you were just going to give in? All you're
THE ROAD AND DRIVE AWAY AND LEAVE YOUteaching your child is that you can be worn down. I'll
THERE FOREVER!!!"concede to the point that there will have to be days
Um....no, you won't. And regardless of how crazy youwhen you are simply too exhausted to enforce every
might be acting, the kids know you won't. You're notsingle rule you have. That's life, and no amount of
going to abandon your own children on the side of thebubble bath can offer redemption on those days. But it
road, so don't even say it. Besides that, most parentsis your job and your responsibility as the parent of that
simply don't follow through. You know what I'm talkingchild to make sure he is raised in a way that molds him
about. How many threats do you think you hear ininto a decent adult. Letting him have his way only
public on a daily basis? How many times have youreinforces bullying, selfishness and inconsideration.
heard, "If you don't stop, we're going to the car."? HaveSo what DOES work? I will tell you honestly that with
you EVER seen someone actually take their child to3 children, I never had to deal with that situation. No
the car? If you have, find that parent and give them anone ever screamed that they wanted candy in the
award. They're one of the few who actually meangrocery store. None of them ever threw a fit in public.
what they say. I've felt like volunteering my services aAnd if I told them to stop doing something while we
few times ("Hi! I'll take your brat to the car if youwere out anywhere, they stopped. The worst I had to
won't!") but decided they might not take that verydeal with were a few pouting mouths. That's because I
kindly. Do your child a favor and take the word "if" outdidn't threaten, ignore, make deals or repeat myself. My
of your vocabulary.instructions were simply the end of the matter. When
Here's another approach that doesn't work. Well,your children are very young, I believe this is the purest
every now and then it works, so I consider it to be oneand most effective way to discipline. In the situation at
of the top most abused and ill-used methods; thethe Doctor's office, here's what to do. Tell them to
DEAL. "Honey, if you stop fighting with your brother,stop once and let that be the end of it. They will know
we can go get ice cream after we finish here.you mean it by how you say it. Look them straight in
OK????" First, kids want instant gratification, so mosttheir precious little eyes and say, "You boys will stop
of them don't care what's coming later. They want itfighting right now." Watch them until they know you will
now. So you've just created another problem andnot stop paying attention until they stop. If, as we're
another opportunity for them to misbehave. Secondoften told, misbehaving is a cry for attention, pay
(and most important), you should never reward a childattention. That's all it takes.