| How many times have you heard the following | | | | Appreciation |
| phrases? | | | | Express appreciation as much as you can. A positive |
| I can't do my math homework, Mom, I can't figure it out! | | | | comment can set the mood for the entire child's day. |
| I can't read this book Daddy, it's too thick! | | | | The notion that too much praise can swell a child's |
| There goes Grace again, with that all too familiar 'I | | | | head is wrong. In fact, the opposite is true-too little |
| Can't'. You begin to wonder if she is just going through | | | | praise shrinks self-confidence and destroys any |
| an 'I can't' phase, or is there a way to motivate Grace | | | | chance for motivation to succeed. |
| to say 'I can' instead of 'I can't'? | | | | Affection |
| Another poor report card for Sera! You keep telling | | | | Lots of verbal and physical affection is important for |
| her that she'll just become like her cousin Janet, a | | | | child growth as well. Don't use affection as a reward. |
| dropout at sixteen if she doesn't try harder. Her | | | | It's ok to let kids know that you dislike their misbehavior, |
| teacher tells you that Sera does poorly in school | | | | but at the same time be sure that they know that you |
| because she isn't motivated. | | | | love them. The behavior is separate from the person, |
| How can we motivate our children to do their best? | | | | and the deed from the doer, is the key to being able to |
| A motivated person is one who has a definite and | | | | maintain positive feelings about your child while taking |
| positive desire to do things. Despite all the negative | | | | appropriate action to correct misbehaviors. |
| press our schools have been getting lately, motivated | | | | Acceptance |
| kids do better than their unmotivated classmates. | | | | Allow your kids to be different. They may choose |
| These are four ways to get your child to become the | | | | different clothes, different foods and being different |
| best that he or she can be. Motivating your child is a | | | | isn't bad, it's just different. Don't pressure your children |
| process, and not a set it and forget it deal. It starts | | | | to live up to your image. Don't compare them to |
| from infancy and continues throughout the child's life. | | | | siblings, relative, or neighbors. |
| The more time you spend motivating your children, the | | | | Teaching your Children to "Believe and Achieve" |
| less time you'll spend solving academic and behavioral | | | | The best way to raise your child's self-esteem is to |
| problems down the road. | | | | stop doing things for them and let them start doing |
| Use Effective Parenting Techniques | | | | things for themselves. |
| Over the past decade, polls have shown that people | | | | Let them doing things for themselves gives them a |
| believe that discipline is one of the major problems of | | | | sense of accomplishment, and also lets you use the |
| American education. Parents and teachers play the | | | | four A's listed above to build an encouraging home life. |
| blame game. Parents say that they don't know how to | | | | If your child learns to use the washing machine, what a |
| effectively control the classroom, and teachers say | | | | prefect chance to show attention and appreciation. |
| kids that can't be disciplined at home cannot be | | | | Letting a daughter go shopping for her own clothes |
| expected to be disciplined at school. | | | | lets you show acceptance. All of these positive |
| The most effective way to discipline a child is if you | | | | behaviors can motivate your kids to do their best. |
| use a democratic style of parenting. It teaches children | | | | Redirecting Kids' Mistaken Purposes for Misbehavior |
| self-control and self-discipline. They learn to follow rules | | | | Sometimes our children do poorly in school because |
| and routines not out of fear of punishment, but that if | | | | they get more attention for misbehaving then for |
| they don't, they will miss out of the benefits of such | | | | positive behavior. Think for a minute of the attention a |
| behavior. A democratic approach promotes good | | | | poor reader gets. His parents are called to the school |
| communication and mutual respect for family | | | | for a conference, special testing is given, a tutor or |
| members. | | | | aide may be assigned for extra reading practice. |
| The autocratic technique is probably the least | | | | Often books or trinkets are offered as reward for |
| effective in modern times. Rarely do we see a group | | | | improvement. |
| of people unquestioningly accept the authority of | | | | Another payoff kids get for doing poorly is revenge. |
| another group. This technique invites non-cooperation | | | | Kids can use failing classes to get even with parents |
| and rebellion from out kids. They will show good | | | | as a response to excessive pressure to perform. |
| behavior only in our presence, but will not develop the | | | | Sometimes it's because they feel they have been |
| internal controls that serve them outside the home. | | | | unfavorably compared to a sibling, other times it's |
| Build an Encouraging Home Life | | | | because they feel unfairly treated. |
| Your children need the four A's. | | | | To redirect these mistaken purposes, we have to |
| Attention | | | | sidestep our feelings of hurt and disappointment. |
| Attention will make the child feel special and a sense | | | | Showing these feelings to your children will not |
| of belonging to the family. Always be sure to give | | | | motivate them to change their behavior. Instead, focus |
| attention to reward positive behavior and not only | | | | heavily on areas of success, and use the four A's to |
| when they are misbehaving. It is easier for your child to | | | | build an encouraging home life. |
| get attention by failing classes and starting trouble. | | | | |