| In the noble sport of fencing they teach the participants | | | | sending out the message "who are you going to blame |
| to never let their guards down at all times. The same | | | | for this?" in the child's receiving end. Yes, either of you |
| notion should also be applied to parenting. Parents | | | | may or may not be aware of it but unconsciously that |
| should never ever let their guards down especially | | | | is what's happening in the point to point communication |
| when it comes to disciplining children. Why? Even if | | | | between you and your child. |
| parents hate to admit it some kids can be pretty | | | | What happens next is that your child will then come |
| deceiving and manipulative when it comes to others | | | | out and start making excuses or start blaming others |
| feelings and emotions. The most significant and | | | | because of the inadequate feeling. In the long run the |
| predominant victims to this manipulation are in fact the | | | | kid will start making this a routine. All the kid needs to |
| parents. | | | | do is to find someone to blame for because it'll be |
| Children condition you into thinking that everything is | | | | easier. And guess who the best targets to blame are? |
| your fault. Unbelievable though it may seem never | | | | Yes, you got that right - the parents. That's what |
| forget that they are thinking for themselves and are | | | | manipulative children want you to think. |
| very perceptive even at a very young age. You might | | | | Or even if it's not you there will always be someone |
| not even be consciously aware that your own child | | | | else to blame like older siblings or friends and peers. |
| has been manipulating and conditioning you into thinking | | | | The kid would develop that habit of wanting to get off |
| that you are failing at your parenting skills. No, you are | | | | the hook unscathed. And the problem with most |
| not failing as a parent. But it is likely that you will be | | | | parents in these situations is that they start considering |
| creating traps that will catch you years later and make | | | | what the kids are telling them to be true. Parents |
| you fail eventually. One trap that parents often | | | | would then start to question their disciplining skills, |
| haplessly create in the disciplining arena is the Why | | | | expectations, and other things which is what these |
| Trap. | | | | manipulative children want to accomplish. |
| The Why Trap is really a classical parent disciplining | | | | It's normal for us to think that we are being helpful and |
| error that starts out when the parent asks his kid why | | | | that we mean the best for our kids but that doesn't |
| he/she did the things that were bad or inappropriate. | | | | mean that we should stop being on the lookout for |
| When you ask your kid "why did you do that?" or | | | | possible disciplining errors like setting up The Why Trap. |
| "why did that happen?" you are actually unconsciously | | | | |