| Why Do We Need to Establish Boundaries? | | | | "obedient" This is a problem for many women raised in |
| Let's start off by gaining a clear understanding of the | | | | dysfunctional families, as it has taught us to become |
| definition of a boundary. A Boundary reflects your | | | | "people pleasers" and can might also take us down |
| personal desires with a definite consequence from | | | | the path towards co-dependency. |
| crossing or not respecting a set boundary. For | | | | As a child growing up in a generation where "Children |
| example: "If you touch me in an inappropriate manner, | | | | are Seen and not Heard" or were taught to be |
| our relationship will end" Is a boundary. Broken down, it | | | | "Obedient" I have come to know that I never |
| clearly states that you have a personal desire to not | | | | established any sort of boundaries and because of |
| be physically hurt by someone you love and the | | | | this, I have suffered most of my young adult life from |
| consequence for crossing the boundary is I will leave | | | | all forms of abuse. It hasn't been until recently, that I |
| you. | | | | learned how to establish boundaries in my own life. So |
| Boundaries are not only important for adults, but also | | | | now, when I truly want to say No to someone, I Do! |
| as a parent raising children. Our children's trust is | | | | Hyposis can help us to learn to love ourselves enough |
| developed between the ages of 3-6 years of age. | | | | & to break free from some of those old, |
| Teaching young children your boundaries will help them | | | | out-dated beliefs so we can begin to establish healthy |
| to grow up with a sense of knowing that "If I do this, | | | | boundaries by placing suggestions of self-love, |
| this is what I can expect" It is important to the stages | | | | self-worth, etc into our subconscious minds. It also, |
| of the child's development to learn what boundaries | | | | enables you to return to a younger age and inserting |
| you have set for the child, but as the child grows, it's | | | | assertiveness towards a family member or members |
| also important that you, as the parent, teach them how | | | | which, then, enables us to have the self-confidence to |
| to establish healthy boundaries as they move into the | | | | begin establishing safe, healthy boundaries. |
| young, teenage years. | | | | Let's not confuse boundaries with walls....Walls are a |
| What boundaries do you have for yourself? Maybe, | | | | defense mechanism we put into place to push people |
| you don't have any boundaries at all or maybe, you | | | | away so we don't get hurt. Walls, like onions, can be |
| don't enforce the consequences. This happens | | | | knocked down, peeled away creating the path |
| sometimes because as children we were taught to be | | | | towards establishing healthy boundaries. |