| Although most parents would agree that their children | | | | controlling parent. As our society became more |
| are more important than their job, most usually get | | | | affluent, many parents became more permissive and |
| more on-the-job training than they do as a parent. As | | | | over-indulgent. Their children often grew up thinking the |
| a Mother of seven once said, "The love is instinctual | | | | world owed them a living and they used their energy |
| but the skills are not." | | | | trying to get out of responsibilities. |
| A NATIONAL MOVEMENT | | | | Children are facing issues previous generations never |
| A 1990 study by fifteen of the nation's largest youth | | | | had to face. It is important for parents to listen and |
| organizations found that the United States has done | | | | communicate in open, respectful ways, so their children |
| poorly in solving the problems affecting today's youth. | | | | will feel safe in discussing their problems and feelings. |
| There was broad agreement that the number-one | | | | Although some of these societal changes have |
| solution to these problems was . . . better parents. As | | | | brought about positive results, they have left parents |
| a result of their findings, the final report calls for a | | | | with few clear guidelines for how to raise this new |
| massive increase in parent education. | | | | generation of children into responsible adults. |
| President Bush then released a statement of six | | | | EFFECTIVE, QUALITY PARENT EDUCATION |
| national goals for education. The number-one goal | | | | What it Isn't . . . |
| states that "by the year 2000, all children in America | | | | Parent education does not focus on what parents are |
| will start school ready to learn." To attain this goal | | | | doing wrong or advocate never disciplining children, as |
| "parents will have access to the training and support | | | | many parents assume. It provides new options to |
| they need." | | | | parents and encourages them to respect their own |
| President Bush's comments represent a movement in | | | | rights, as well as their children's. |
| thinking which places more value on the importance of | | | | Attending a parenting class is not a reflection of being |
| a parent's role in preparing children for school and life. It | | | | a "bad" parent . . . it is an indication of a parent's |
| is encouraging to see that there is a growing | | | | commitment to his/her children and role as a parent. |
| awareness that families need support and education . . | | | | The classes are not just for parents who are having |
| . in order to strengthen parents' skills and prevent | | | | severe problems with their children's behavior. Many |
| future problems. | | | | parents who attend classes want to feel more |
| SOCIETY HAS CHANGED | | | | confident of their parenting and are looking for ways |
| In the past, when parents had questions about | | | | to prevent future problems and help their family get |
| child-rearing they would usually have an extended | | | | along cooperatively. |
| family member close by to ask advice. While some | | | | What it Is . . . |
| parents may have family close by, many admit that | | | | The most effective parenting classes are small, |
| their elders' advice on child-rearing often differs from | | | | personal groups which provide opportunities for |
| current parenting information or their preferred style. | | | | interaction among parents, practice of concepts and |
| This is a result of changes in our society over the past | | | | techniques learned, and individualized problem solving. |
| few decades: | | | | Like most new skills, parents can benefit from ongoing |
| Children are no longer "needed" to work side by side | | | | reinforcement of what they have learned. Follow-up |
| with their parents, like farmers' children of the past. This | | | | parent discussion groups, where parents can meet |
| helped children feel they had something important to | | | | with others who have taken the class, provide an |
| contribute and taught them basic responsibility and | | | | opportunity to continue applying the concepts to new |
| life-management skills. Today, children search for ways | | | | situations. |
| to belong in the family and with peers, sometimes in | | | | MAKING THE COMMITMENT |
| unhealthy ways. | | | | Although professionals often recommend parenting |
| Superior/inferior family relationships are no longer being | | | | classes, there are several issues which seem to |
| modeled by mothers and fathers. Women have equal | | | | prevent parents from joining these groups: finding a |
| rights and children feel equally unwilling to accept an | | | | class, making the time commitment, and cost. All three |
| inferior, submissive role in life. This change is healthy, in | | | | really boil down to the underlying issue of priorities. If a |
| that all people do have a right to be treated with | | | | parent looks at how much time and money he/she |
| respect and dignity. It leaves many parents, however, | | | | spends on business seminars, golf lessons, weekly fast |
| with few role models or practical skills for achieving | | | | food, or vacations, it makes sense to place a priority |
| this goal. | | | | on attending a parenting class, which usually costs less |
| Early on, children are being taught that they have rights: | | | | than all of these! Parenting classes are an investment |
| to their bodies, their feelings, and to be treated by | | | | in your personal growth, your child's future, and in future |
| others with dignity as a worthwhile human being. | | | | generations. Consider doing your part to make this |
| As a result, power-and-control parenting techniques | | | | world a better place for everyone's children. Read a |
| are no longer effective, because parents "talk down" | | | | parenting book that gives trustworthy, accurate advice |
| to "inferior" children. This style, therefore, inherently | | | | or check out your community's resources for local |
| violates a child's right to be treated with respect, | | | | parenting classes. |
| children recognize this, rebel and lose respect for the | | | | |