| 1. Set clear boundaries/house rules. Teens don't need | | | | help you strategize and also reduce your stress. |
| as much structure as younger kids but they still have a | | | | 6. Listen with the intent to understand rather than to |
| great need for structure. You must communicate with | | | | provide advice. Teens' hormones and emotions are |
| exquisite clarity what your expectations are regarding | | | | roiling. Listen past the anger and frustration. Allow the |
| civility, school, curfew, alcohol, the internet, etc. | | | | teen to voice their feelings. Teens need to feel like |
| 2. You must enforce the rules consistently and | | | | they are being heard. |
| effectively. This means that you should have an | | | | 7. Commit to connecting your teen with your |
| assortment of consequences, responses that will have | | | | community. Religious groups, the Y, Scouts, or other |
| meaning to your teen should the boundaries/rules be | | | | community service is critical for character building. |
| compromised. | | | | 8. Encourage and support your teen's special interest |
| 3. Relationship maintenance/support. It is critically | | | | or special skill. Sports, artistic expression, hobbies can |
| important to spend quality one on one time with your | | | | play a significant role in developing self confidence and |
| teen outside the home (sports, recreational activities, | | | | self discipline. |
| dining out). | | | | 9. Communicate reasonable yet high expectations for |
| 4. Avoid power struggles. If you feel your emotional | | | | every aspect of the teens' life, from school |
| temperature rising, either put a lid on it and just listen or | | | | performance to mutually supportive peer relationships. |
| walk away. Power struggles are no win situations. | | | | 10. Remember that adolescence is a necessary stage |
| 5. Join a parent support group. Many parents find the | | | | of development and it doesn't last. |
| executive role particularly challenging. Peer support can | | | | |