| Peer pressure can be a very frustrating concept for | | | | opinions in a non-confrontational way even if you think |
| parents. As a parent you have invested a lot of time in | | | | your teen does not want to hear them. They often |
| your teenager so that they will make good, safe | | | | times will surprise you and actually be interested, even |
| decisions and have the confidence to not be a | | | | if it is not how they present. |
| "follower". The reality is, however, that most if not all | | | | 3. Offer your teen opportunities to improve their self |
| teenagers succumb to peer pressure at some point | | | | esteem and consistently reinforce their strengths. |
| during adolescence. | | | | Having a positive self esteem makes combating peer |
| Peer pressure is being or feeling forced into a certain | | | | pressure much easier during the teenage years. |
| way of living, dressing, socializing, talking, acting and in | | | | 4. Talk to your teen about other adult supports they |
| general...being. Based on what we know about | | | | have in their lives. For example...if they were feeling |
| teenagers (they are trying to figure out who they are, | | | | bullied or pressured at school, is there a favorite |
| are trying to break away from their parents and are in | | | | teacher, guidance counselor, etc. they could go to for |
| general very uncertain about where they fit in the | | | | support? It is important for teens to feel adult support |
| world), it makes sense that they would fall victim to | | | | for difficult situations which may arise. |
| peer pressure. There are certain risk factors which | | | | 5. Work to maintain a positive relationship with your |
| make teens more susceptible to peer pressure. These | | | | teen. Make time for them (even if it feels like they don't |
| include but are not limited to: | | | | want your time - they will know you are there), get to |
| - Low self esteem | | | | know their friends, be welcoming to their friends and |
| - Fear of other's their age | | | | consistently demonstrate an interested in their lives. |
| - Lack of ties to true friends | | | | 6. Keep the lines of communication open with your |
| - Lack of confidence | | | | teen. Again, they may not act like they care or like that |
| - Feeling isolated | | | | is what they want but ultimately they are comforted |
| - Doing poorly in school | | | | by knowing you are there for them and that they can |
| - Not knowing where they fit in with their peers | | | | come to you if they really need to. |
| As a parent there are certain things you can do and | | | | 7. If you have a really legitimate concern, express this |
| remember when feeling like your child is giving into | | | | to your teen openly and honestly but not in a |
| negative peer pressure (lets remember that not all | | | | confrontational manner. Being too confrontational will |
| peer pressure is negative). These include the following: | | | | push them away but saying what you want to say in |
| 1. Teach your teen ways of getting out of situations or | | | | a supportive and caring manner can often be very |
| how to say "no" before situations even arise. Doing this | | | | effective. |
| ahead if time when emotions are not heightened will | | | | 8. Remember...teens will make some mistakes along |
| make this strategy more effective. Try giving your | | | | the way and as a parent you cannot shelter them |
| teen possible scenarios they may face and discuss | | | | from all their mistakes. Often times the stakes are |
| how they can handle them. (They may tell you this | | | | much lower when making mistakes as a teenager so |
| process is "dumb" or that they won't ever be in these | | | | allowing for some mistakes (even if it is not easy to sit |
| situations but we know they will...so try to keep it | | | | back and watch it happen) is critical to the process of |
| non-threatening and try to have some fun with it while | | | | growing up. |
| still making your point!) | | | | 9. Get support from other parents who have |
| 2. Remember that even if your teen seems like they | | | | teenagers. Both psycho educational support and just |
| are pulling away, they are still looking to you for some | | | | having a place to vent and discuss the complexities of |
| sort of approval or guidance. It is worth sharing your | | | | raising teenagers is important and helpful to parents. |