| I have been a police officer for over 12 years and | | | | peer acceptance. A child between 12-15 years of age |
| currently work at a middle school as a school resource | | | | develops an extreme value of friendships and a desire |
| officer. I frequently have youth come to my office | | | | to be accepted by interested peer groups. This |
| who are enduring a variety of challenges. I have | | | | interest is a shift from the nurture of parents and the |
| attempted many times to listen and offer what advice | | | | pre-adolescent age. These problems include the |
| and support I can while also enforcing and drawing the | | | | outbursts of bad behavior, lying, profanity and other |
| line to appropriate and legal behaviors. What amazes | | | | forms of supposed disrespect. Some of which is solely |
| me is the depth and breadth of the struggle our youth | | | | done as a display that they are in control and to |
| are wading through. | | | | impress their peers who may be watching. I am |
| Our children are growing up in the modern age of cell | | | | always comforted by the fact that when you get |
| phones, iPods, digital cameras and the internet. I have | | | | them one on one without the audience their attitude is |
| frequently told my associates that I really do not like | | | | much more pliable and receptive. This gives |
| breaking up fights for fear that the incident will appear | | | | confidence that there still may be a human inside them |
| on YouTube five minutes later. Whether we like the | | | | after-all. |
| changes in life-style or not, I am afraid they are here to | | | | Life changes |
| stay. | | | | I believe it is important for anyone working with youth |
| Bullies | | | | to see these changes and recognize them for what |
| One aspect of the modern age and a natural | | | | they are. Most of the time you will have success in |
| outgrowth of our neat little gadgets is cyber-bullying. | | | | building relationships of trust with teens as you listen to |
| This new realm has taken many parents, educators | | | | the struggles they face. It is important to simply hear |
| and counselors aback and traditionalists are not | | | | them and at least validate the concerns they have |
| completely clear as to how to handle it. I meet weekly | | | | weather justified or not. This trust may become the |
| with students who endure bullying, threats and | | | | very bridge you will need to begin teaching what |
| intimidation from text, voice mail, email and even | | | | behavior is appropriate for any given circumstance. |
| social-networking internet sites. What seems to | | | | Coping |
| surprise most of them is my response that you really | | | | It is very important for any adult who deals with youth |
| can turn it off. Simply turn off the cell phone, the blog | | | | to learn the skills necessary to help youth cope with |
| or other device. We need to help our children learn | | | | the changes going on around them. Be kind, respectful |
| skills to filter or better yet, turn off these devices at | | | | and especially slow to surprise as you listen. You will |
| least temporarily and focus on what is important. Begin | | | | find that many of the struggles they face will be similar |
| by teaching children how you would handle a | | | | to those each of us endured as we rode the ladder to |
| threatening or intimidating message and what to do to | | | | adulthood. Bounce your ideas, successes and failures |
| avoid any confrontation. | | | | off the teen you are counseling and as you listen you |
| Peer acceptance | | | | may also learn to be more understanding yourself. This |
| I find a lot of the problems that teens get themselves | | | | understanding will make you much more effective than |
| into at school and elsewhere hinge around the idea of | | | | you ever could without it. |