| Question: | | | | If your mom is not that receptive, you may want to |
| I am 13 years old, the tallest girl in my grade and a little | | | | find another adult you can voice your concerns to |
| overweight. I play basketball and I am a cheerleader | | | | face-to-face. It could be that this adult (such as |
| for 2 different teams and I have fun doing that, but my | | | | another relative) can give you insight into your mom's |
| mom and some kids are school make rude comments | | | | behavior and help you understand why she acts that |
| about my weight. Should I listen to them and lose the | | | | way. It doesn't excuse her actions it just helps you |
| weight? How do I deal with being picked on? | | | | understand better so that you can choose how to |
| Answer: | | | | respond. |
| First, let me say that just because you are overweight | | | | As for being the tallest girl in your grade, honey, that's |
| now, does mean you will always be that way. You | | | | great. Do you remember that book "Tales of a Fifth |
| sound like you have plenty of activity to keep you | | | | Grade Nothing?" by Judy Blume? Well, I was a kind of |
| busy and that should be good enough for everyone | | | | a 6th grade nothing being all of 4 feet 11 inches tall and |
| else. And if it isn't, too bad for them. If your health is in | | | | weighing in at a whopping 90 pounds. If the wind blew |
| danger, I hope your family doctor would let you and | | | | too hard, it would have knocked me down! I was so |
| your mom know. I don't know how overweight you | | | | small people didn't believe I was in 6th grade, let alone |
| are, it could only be 5 or 10 pounds. That being the | | | | old enough to ride the city bus by myself. I always |
| case, just keep doing what you're doing and let | | | | wanted to be taller because the grass is always |
| everyone else worry about their own health. | | | | greener on the other side. To this day I still get made |
| The fact of the matter is that your body is changing | | | | fun of (mostly by family) for being short, but I don't |
| (like you didn't know that) and we all change at a | | | | mind so much because most of them are short too! |
| different rate. Because of that, we can't compare | | | | You won't always be the tallest person around, but |
| ourselves to other people. It wouldn't be fair to | | | | being tall does have its advantages. After all, who else |
| ourselves and we would always lose. There is always | | | | is going to help short people like me see over things |
| someone prettier, smarter, or thinner. Comparisons will | | | | and reach tall things on the shelf? |
| only make you feel worse, so don't think you have to | | | | The most important thing I want you to remember is |
| live up to someone else's unrealistic expectations | | | | that people will make fun of those who threaten them |
| when you haven't even finished growing yet. It is more | | | | in some way. Maybe you're better at sports then |
| important that you remain healthy and active and retain | | | | these other students and maybe you have more |
| those habits as you get older. | | | | confidence in you than your mother has in her. There |
| As far as your mom is concerned, you may have the | | | | could be a number of reasons. But, regardless of the |
| type of mom who would listen and respond positively | | | | reason, you must remember that no one can live your |
| if you sat down and told her how her comments | | | | life but you. Your choices. Your consequences. If your |
| make you feel. If you can do that with your mom, you'll | | | | friends don't get that, you can get new friends. If your |
| want to use this type of phrase "When you say | | | | mom doesn't get it, give her time (mine eventually |
| _____, I feel ______." This is much better than | | | | came around!). |
| saying "You hurt my feelings" or "You make me feel | | | | If you need some extra inspiration, check out the |
| worthless." It is also much better than saying how you | | | | Lifetime TV Original Movie "Queen Sized" starring |
| feel if you are in the middle of an argument and feel | | | | "Hairspray" star Nikki Blonsky or the feature film "Real |
| like you just want to shout it out. Resist that urge so | | | | Women Have Curves" starring "Ugly Betty" star |
| that you don't say something you'll regret. You may | | | | America Ferrera. |
| also want to practice with a friend first so that you | | | | Take care of yourself and keep your head held high! |
| know what you want to say to your mom. | | | | |