| Sometimes the roles of coach and student don't come | | | | - Certain reading, writing, and math skill areas will |
| naturally to a parent and child. However, there are a | | | | always be covered. You will both quickly understand |
| few simple guidelines you can follow to create a fun | | | | that lack of focus, negative moods and tiredness do |
| and effective coaching relationship with your child so | | | | not mean you put off doing the work, and do not have |
| they enjoy learning with you, and learn faster. | | | | to stand in the way of a coaching session. Set the |
| You may be a parent who is home-schooling children | | | | boundaries clearly through discussion with your child, |
| or a parent who wishes to help their children do better | | | | and they will more willingly work with you. |
| in the classroom. Whether you are homeschooling, or | | | | Have a set routine where possible so that you create |
| your child is at a school, I encourage you to invest time | | | | a comfortable and work-focused atmosphere. |
| and effort into developing a good coaching relationship | | | | - Make a drink for yourself and your child. You can |
| with your child. When you work harmoniously together, | | | | also offer food but keep it simple so they won't be |
| learning math, reading and writing skills becomes easier | | | | tempted to fiddle with it. Perhaps it can be a special |
| and more fun for them, and helping them becomes a | | | | drink and type of food that is only offered when |
| pleasure instead of a chore for you. | | | | coaching. |
| For those who send their child to school, recent | | | | - Have a fixed place you work in that is comfortable |
| research found parental involvement in children's | | | | and without distractions for you both. It can be the |
| learning to be a key factor in them doing well at school. | | | | kitchen table, but have it completely clear. |
| Results showed that parental involvement shapes the | | | | - Have a fixed time you begin and end working |
| child's identity as a learner and sets higher | | | | together. Have a clock available for you both to |
| expectations for the child (Ally Bull, Keren Brooking & | | | | see.You should aim to be ready to start each |
| Renee Campbell, 2008). I encourage you to become | | | | coaching session at the same time, even if at first if |
| involved in your child's learning. Involvement in | | | | your child isn't ready. |
| supporting your children's education requires a little time | | | | - Minimise distractions. Switch the phone to the answer |
| and patience from you, and the expectation that they | | | | machine and turn your cell phone off. If possible, other |
| practice at home the skills they are learning at school. | | | | people should generally not be allowed into the |
| You can extend and develop your child's reading, | | | | coaching space, particularly in the beginning when the |
| writing and maths skills beyond what is possible at | | | | child will have the most difficulty concentrating. Offer |
| school where your child has limited one-on-one teacher | | | | choices. Choice is a magic ingredient when coaching. |
| time. Perhaps you are thinking this involves hours and | | | | At first, if possible keep any choices you are offering |
| hours of extra work. On the contrary, regular short | | | | to no more than two alternatives. For example: |
| bursts of time, a few days a week will make a | | | | - Ask your child if they want to start with maths or |
| noticable difference in your child's performance at | | | | reading first. |
| school. | | | | - Ask them whether they want to practice some |
| Getting started. | | | | more addition or get on with learning more subtraction. |
| Working within clear roles helps you both work well | | | | - When writing stories make suggestions, but allow the |
| together. The coach and student's role has to be very | | | | child to make the final decisions about the topic of |
| clearly understood by both you and your child. Your | | | | writing. At first it might take a while for the child to |
| child will learn from you by following your instructions | | | | make a choice, so give them enough time to choose. |
| and doing the agreed-upon work. However, they | | | | They will choose faster as time goes by and they |
| should be in control of the lesson to some extent - for | | | | develop more confidence. Aim for joint decision making |
| example, they could be offered choices such as when | | | | and it you disagree, do it with respect. Never push or |
| they might need a break or which subject they want | | | | bully them into a choice. When they have great |
| to begin with. | | | | reluctance to choose a book or a writing topic, help |
| When coaching your child remember that you are both | | | | them but still don't choose for them. |
| learning to work with each other in a different way. | | | | Use the same or similar words each time you |
| The role of coach and student is often very different | | | | encourage or direct them. It is useful to repeat the |
| from the role you have as parent or caregiver and | | | | same phrases and ideas often to reinforce habits and |
| child. For example, negotiation as two (relatively) equal | | | | routines as well as helpful attitudes. This saves your |
| people, whatever your age differences, is vital here for | | | | energy, and gives them clear messages. Keep those |
| a good working relationship. As a parent you may not | | | | messages brief and to the point. Try: |
| negotiate often with the child, however as a coach | | | | - "Let's get the hardest work out of the way first then |
| negotiation is very helpful for your working relationship, | | | | do something we like." |
| and their 'buy-in' to the coaching. | | | | - "Practice this addition/times tables/spelling word so |
| Your child often knows what reading writing and | | | | that you will remember it easily." |
| maths skills they want and need to learn, and when | | | | - "Five minutes to coaching time so get your things |
| they might need a short break, or have had enough | | | | ready now please." Ultimately, be deeply interested in |
| learning about any new skills and knowledge. Take that | | | | your child. One of the most important attitudes you can |
| into account, and negotiate so that the amount of | | | | have towards your child is that of 'interest' in them as |
| work, and the length of time they work with you, is | | | | another human being. Listen with interest and respect, |
| agreed upon by you both. However, don't let them | | | | as one intelligent person to another, to what they are |
| dictate the terms here, you also have to be happy | | | | saying. Get to know the music, books, games sports |
| about the amount of work you both are doing. Create | | | | that interest them. Ask them questions about these to |
| a win-win situation for you both. | | | | update your own knowledge. Children often know |
| Organize your life in advance a little more than usual. | | | | more about the latest most interesting developments |
| Set aside plenty of time for the coaching session, a | | | | and can teach us. |
| little more than you expect to need, so that there is no | | | | - Remember what they say about their interests, |
| hurry. Where possible organize meals and other | | | | because you will be able to use this information later |
| activities and children to fit around the coaching, rather | | | | when they are writing, or doing maths, or for spelling |
| than the coaching fitting around other commitments. | | | | words, or deciding on what they will read next. In |
| Where that is not possible, you can coach in small | | | | addition, you can compare their persistence in |
| chunks of time, for example when you are waiting for | | | | successfully learning to skip or skateboard, for |
| another child or driving in the car. Above all, coaching | | | | example, with using practice and determination to learn |
| should be fun - not frustrating for either of you. | | | | reading, writing, and math skills. |
| Establish a routine. Routines anchor you and your child | | | | - Let them have a few minutes each session to talk |
| when they are reluctant to learn and/or you are tired | | | | about whatever they are interested in; maybe when |
| and may not feel like coaching. When you use simple, | | | | they are having a short break or perhaps at the |
| clear, consistent routines, you and your child learn that: | | | | beginning of the session as you are settling in and |
| - The work is to be done even when you are both not | | | | getting ready for the coaching. When you both enjoy |
| feeling like it. | | | | the coaching time, you will find that your child finds it |
| - The most recent learning will be first revised until it is | | | | much easier to learn, and the coaching process will run |
| understood before you coach any new skills or | | | | more smoothly. People learn best and coach best |
| knowledge. | | | | when they feel relaxed and have fun with each other. |