| Sometimes I look at my son's peers and wonder what | | | | to my son: John, I'm not going to let you have that |
| on earth their parents can be thinking. These children | | | | because you whined instead of asking. Next time, say |
| are often downright rude. They demand things instead | | | | "Mom, may I please..." and I will be a lot more willing to |
| of asking, they yell and scream instead of talking, they | | | | hear your request.o How to Show Gratitude: A simple |
| walk around the house while they eat their dinner, they | | | | "thank you" is one of the nicest things to hear. |
| never think to pick up a thing after themselves, and I | | | | Teaching your child to be grateful for what she has |
| very rarely hear even a simple "please" or "thank you." | | | | helps her to develop an appreciation for what IS and |
| No, they are not all like that, and they're not like that all | | | | to demand less. We do live in a material society, and I |
| the time, but I find myself consistently wondering | | | | am not the only mom concerned with her children's |
| where manners went and why parents don't seem to | | | | obsession with "stuff". Please and Thank You may |
| care anymore. | | | | seem elementary, but they can truly change your |
| One of our most basic jobs as parents is to teach our | | | | child's entire outlook on life.o How to Ask for Help: |
| children how to get along in the world without us. It's | | | | Please teach your child how to ask for help. The help |
| called "socializing" and it's critical to our children's | | | | sign was one of the first sign language words that our |
| well-being. We all like to be around people who are | | | | daughter ever learned. She could ask for help before |
| easy to be around; in other words, people who behave | | | | she could even say "mama." Being able to ask for help |
| the way we expect them to. That sounds pretty | | | | is so empowering for a child of any age. Quite frankly, I |
| boring, maybe, but if you think about it, it's true. The | | | | was thirty years old before I learned how to ask for |
| people who annoy us are ignored or even picked on | | | | and accept help. Empower your children to ask. "Could |
| because they don't "behave." | | | | you please..."o How to Pick Up After Oneself: Okay, |
| But this isn't the only, or even the best, reason why | | | | most of us struggle with this one every single day. No |
| you should teach your children manners. It's about | | | | matter what it takes, you must empower your children |
| respect: basic respect for self and for others. We | | | | to create a healthy, organized environment. That |
| show respect by being polite. And, parents, we don't | | | | means that they must help around the house. Do not |
| teach our kids respect by yelling at them and telling | | | | let them off the hook. I see so many children come to |
| them to "be nice." We teach them respect by | | | | my house and leave trash and food on the floor and I |
| respecting them, teaching them how to communicate | | | | know they're doing it at home, too. My son still leaves |
| in healthy and polite ways, and teaching them how to | | | | food around sometimes and it seems like a battle that |
| behave. | | | | will never end. But I know the importance of having a |
| Ugh, I hate that word "behave." But it's true that | | | | clean and healthy home so I keep on fighting and |
| learning how to behave in situations makes us able to | | | | talking and nagging and reminding and reminding and |
| react in appropriate, positive ways. And that's what life | | | | reminding. I know it's worth it in the long run.o Table |
| is about: learning how to respond in ways that will | | | | Manners: Have one meal a day (preferably dinner) |
| make us, and those around us, happy. Teaching our | | | | where you all sit at the table and use your "company |
| kids how to be polite doesn't turn them into little robots. | | | | manners." Have your children learn how to set the |
| It simply allows them the space to be joyful and | | | | table (forks on the left, knives and spoons on the right, |
| creative in ways that are appropriate for themselves | | | | glasses on the right, salad on the left, etc) and how to |
| and those around them. | | | | eat nicely, chewing with their mouths closed, and sitting |
| So, one of the ways that we help our children to be | | | | in their seat until they are excused. At one point, we |
| comfortable and get along in this world is to teach | | | | had to set a fine for people who burped at the dinner |
| them manners. How to make requests, how to show | | | | table. After two dollars, my son got the point. Do |
| gratitude, how to ask for help, how to pick up after | | | | whatever it takes to make mealtimes polite. They will |
| oneself and, yes, how to sit at the table and eat a | | | | only learn these things at home and it is our job to |
| meal.o How to Make Requests: Teaching your children | | | | prepare them for life out in the real world. And believe |
| how to say "please" and how to ask for things using | | | | me, in the future he'll have a hard time getting a |
| direct communication instead of whining and | | | | second date with his dream girl if he's burping and |
| manipulating is key to their success in the world. First | | | | running around the restaurant! |
| of all, you must begin to model the correct way of | | | | Remember, yelling at our kids is not the way to teach |
| asking. "John, I need some help for a moment. Would | | | | them how to be polite and respectful. We must model |
| you please come give me a hand?" "Mike, could you | | | | the behavior we want to see and redirect them, time |
| please pass the salt?" Second, stop granting requests | | | | and again, until they learn. And when they do learn |
| that are not made in polite ways. They catch on really | | | | how to be polite, they are such joys to be around! |
| quickly when they keep hearing no's. This is what I say | | | | |