| What does it mean to teach your children | | | | 2. Praise the attitude, performance and effort. Use |
| responsibility? Every parent has a different answer | | | | natural and logical consequencesto reinforce the |
| and a different expectation of when and how their | | | | lesson. "Thanks for picking up your toys without being |
| child will assume personal responsibility. One thing is for | | | | asked. Itmakes it easier for the whole family to |
| sure and that is that responsibility must be taught. It is | | | | maneuver when we don't have to step overtoys on |
| not a natural skill, but it can be learned at any age. You | | | | the floor." |
| do not become responsible when you are mature, but | | | | You cannot expect a 35-year-old job from a 10-year |
| rather you become mature when you are responsible. | | | | old. You also cannot expect a 10-year-old job from a |
| Four variables in this exciting venture; | | | | 10-year old who isn't clear what is expected of him. |
| 1. Your child (learning style, age, motor skills, interest, hot | | | | We will have tooccasionally jump in and help them do |
| buttons or incentives) | | | | an unpleasant task, but not do it for them. |
| 2. Your expectations (perfection or ever-learning, do | | | | Voice and Choice: The more the child has the |
| you punish for the truth?) | | | | opportunity of "owning" the decision orproblem, the |
| 3. Your example (use the 4 r's, recognize, remorse, | | | | more he/she will learn. The purpose of allowing natural |
| restitution and resolve to correctmistakes) | | | | consequences tooccur and of designing logical |
| 4. Consistency and follow-through (natural and logical | | | | consequences is to encourage children to make |
| consequences) | | | | responsiblechoices, not punish them. This method |
| Outward responsibility deals with everyday things (life | | | | permits a child to choose and then to beaccountable |
| skills) chores, brushing teeth,returning videos on time. | | | | for the decision whether it comes out well or not. Most |
| These are habits that make us productive and reliable. | | | | children, whenpermitted to make poor choices, learn |
| Inward responsibility deals with attitudes, beliefs and | | | | from the consequences. The most effective methodof |
| values. This is where we look atthe heart. It means | | | | teaching is for you to remain matter-of-fact and |
| admitting mistakes, being unselfish, caring for other | | | | non-punishing. This means separatingthe deed from the |
| people's health,property and feelings. | | | | doer. If you were trying to teach your child a new skill, |
| 2-step process: | | | | such as pianoor tennis, you would probably be patient. |
| 1. Teach them the skill until it becomes a habit and then | | | | You would expect and accept some mistakes. |
| eventually it will becomeautomatic action. Automatic | | | | Just regard teaching responsibility the same way. |
| action is action without conscious thought orplanning. | | | | Regard slipups or wrong choices as alearning |
| This is the difference between pre-decisions and | | | | experience rather than a personal affront on your |
| situational ethics. Forexample, clearing your plate from | | | | ability as a parent or teacherand everyone will be |
| the table, brushing your teeth, putting your bikeaway. | | | | happier, more cooperative and responsible. |
| You don't have to decide what to do every time. | | | | |