| -- End Ad Box ---> | | | | home, not in public. |
| Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that my | | | | Last night, my girls and I were in a department store. |
| children knew how to behave in nice restaurants | | | | There was a toddler carrying on and screaming for |
| because they had been exposed to the atmosphere | | | | more than 15 minutes when my younger daughter said: |
| at an early age. My idea of well behaved might be | | | | "Now his mommy is going to tell him to stop because |
| different from yours, however, I think there are certain | | | | there are other people in here that don't want to hear |
| basics that are important and universal. | | | | it!" |
| When my daughters were babies, we would take | | | | Unfortunately, his mommy did not tell him any such |
| them wherever we went. If they began to fuss or cry, | | | | thing. She let him wail and scream and cry, much to |
| one of us would promptly remove them from the | | | | the chagrin and annoyance of everyone else in the |
| room/restaurant/market/wherever. Not because we | | | | store. You know what? As much as I love kids and |
| felt their crying or fussing was a bad thing. No, it's a | | | | cannot bear to see or hear them suffering, I disliked |
| perfectly normal occurrence for infants and toddlers. | | | | this kid immensely! |
| We removed them as a courtesy to others who we | | | | My reasoning is this: if our kids learn that they are free |
| felt did not need to be as tolerant as we were with | | | | to trample on the peace, space or rose gardens of |
| our children's noise. In consequence, my daughters | | | | others, they will develop into spoiled and inconsiderate |
| know that other people are not as wildly in love with | | | | brats. And then who will like them? Who will want to |
| their racket or with them as we are. Nor should they | | | | spend time with them? Who, besides their forgiving |
| be expected to be. | | | | parents, will be able to tolerate their lack of social |
| As our children grew older, they were always told the | | | | graces and good manners? No one
except |
| rules of our outings, how to behave and to always | | | | maybe another ill-mannered person who feels at home |
| speak softly if other adults were present. Sometimes, | | | | with a similarly clueless individual. Do we really want |
| it's fine to let them get a little crazy ... just know your | | | | our children reduced to such horrible options? I think not. |
| audience! If we are at a five star restaurant where | | | | We teach our children not to steal, lie or punch their |
| many other diners have come to enjoy a gracious and | | | | brother in the nose. Shouldn't we teach them respect |
| expensive meal, would we expect everyone there to | | | | for others at the same time? That their whining and |
| be enthralled with junior's vocal or behavioral | | | | out-of-control behavior is something no one really |
| outbursts? Would we really expect them to care if our | | | | wants to hear or witness, especially strangers who |
| child is having a bout with walking pneumonia and | | | | have no vested interest in their developing minds or |
| coughing uncontrollably? Nope. It's rude. And rudeness | | | | self-esteem? A simple reminder of the rules, |
| is basically nothing more than bad manners. If there is | | | | consistently, works wonders ... eventually. ;-) |
| an emergency with your child, by all means don't give | | | | Good luck. Kids need to learn manners and social |
| a flying flamingo about what others think. But this is the | | | | graces. They will go farther in life if we teach them |
| exception. Besides, children who are that sick belong at | | | | well. |