| It may be a scary thought for some, but there will | | | | David has already learned one of the hardest parts of |
| come a day in every parent's life when they realize | | | | decision making: living with the results. Everyone makes |
| that their child can make decisions all by himself. It | | | | "bad decisions" at some point or another, but what's |
| might be a few years or more before that time will | | | | more important is how you handle the consequences. |
| come, but giving your child the tools he needs to make | | | | Since you can't go back and change the past, the only |
| good decisions will be useful to him when it does. | | | | thing you can do is make the best out of your situation, |
| By far one of the hardest parts about making a | | | | which could even work in your child's favor. |
| decision is being confident in your choice. Whether it's | | | | One of the most difficult times for your child to do this |
| what to wear to an important event or occasion or | | | | may be when you decide that his actions warrant |
| what college to attend, having confidence in his | | | | punishment. Most of the time your child will probably |
| decisions can help your child become a successful | | | | think it is radically unfair for him to be grounded. You, |
| adult. | | | | however, know that sometimes it is necessary so that |
| That, of course, is easier said than done. Few of us | | | | he can learn from his bad decisions not to make the |
| feel truly confident in all of our decisions. One way to | | | | same mistake twice. He has to live with the |
| help your child gain confidence in his decisions is to help | | | | consequences of his actions and learn to make the |
| him think through his choices before he makes them. | | | | best out of them. |
| Talk about the desired outcome he wants and then | | | | This also applies to the things that are out of our |
| discuss which of his possible choices would most likely | | | | control. While having the right information to make a |
| lead to that desired outcome. | | | | good decision is usually important, sometimes we are |
| One simple example of this strategy is the decision to | | | | not even given a choice. For example, if your child has |
| study versus hanging out with friends. If your child's | | | | a test on something that he is struggling with, he can't |
| desired outcome is to do well in school but still spend | | | | choose to take the test later. He has to take it on the |
| time with friends on the weeknights, ask him questions | | | | day assigned; however, he can make the best out of |
| that could lead to a possible decision. Is there a way | | | | an unfavorable situation by using the time he has to |
| he can have both? Could he study first and then go | | | | study, prepare, and ask a teacher, tutor or parent for |
| out to play when he is finished? | | | | extra help. The added pressure of the test could even |
| While sometimes your child won't have a choice in the | | | | be the extra push he needs to help him understand the |
| matter, when he does its important to let him at least | | | | material. |
| try to come to a good decision by himself. Carol | | | | While there are many decisions that you will make for |
| Merchiore's son David learns to make good decisions | | | | your child until he is mature enough to make the right |
| through his martial arts training. | | | | choice himself, letting him handle smaller decisions now |
| "David has developed a maturity in making choices," | | | | will be good practice for when his decisions carry |
| she said. "He has the confidence to make a decision | | | | more weight. It will teach him that he is in control of his |
| and live with it." | | | | own fate. |