| Setting new goals helps you continue your grief | | | | article, "Letting Go of Grief: Entering a New Season in |
| journey. I learned this lesson from experience. After | | | | Life." Morrow thinks mourners should set one goal for |
| my daughter and father-in-law died on the same | | | | the coming year, another goal for the second year |
| February weekend I started thinking about goals. | | | | after loss, and a third goal for the fifth year after loss. |
| Thinking was hard because I was overcome with grief | | | | "Having goals to work towards will keep you moving |
| and stress. | | | | on your new journey," she writes. |
| The loss of a child, no matter what their age, is | | | | Raising teenagers at this stage of life was a challenge |
| devastating and my first goal was to make it to the | | | | and my goals should meet this challenge. I read Internet |
| next hour. Then I vowed to make it through the | | | | articles about setting goals and one, on the Top |
| morning, through an afternoon, and through an entire | | | | Achievement website, "Creating S.M.A.R.T. Goals," by |
| day. I worked on these goals and was making | | | | Gene Donohue, was really helpful. The word "smart" |
| progress when my brother had a heart attack and | | | | stands for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and |
| died. Three loved ones were gone forever. | | | | timely. "When you identify goals that are most |
| In November of the same year my former son-in-law | | | | important to you," Dononue notes, "you begin to figure |
| died suddenly, a tragedy that made my trin | | | | out ways you can make them come true." |
| grandchildren orphans. Instantly, my goals shifted from | | | | I applied the S.M.A.R.T. approach to grief recovery |
| me to my grandchildren -- my top priority. The Cancer | | | | goals. My first goal was go get the twins safely and |
| Net website discusses priorities and goals in its article, | | | | lovingly to their 18th birthdays. We reached this goal |
| "Coping with Change After a Loss." Death changes | | | | last week. Goal two would be getting them through |
| your life and, according to the article, "It may also be | | | | high school. College graduation would come next, and if |
| necessary to change priorities for practical reasons." | | | | the twins wanted it, graduate school. Diplomas would |
| My twin grandchildren were 15 1/2 when they moved | | | | be the measurable outcomes of these goals. |
| in with my husband and me. At first my goals for them | | | | These are attainiable goals and, most important, will |
| were basic: cook healthy meals, get them settled, and | | | | prepare my grandchildren for life. I will have to take |
| research counseling options. As the months passed | | | | good care of myself and follow my doctor's orders to |
| these goals grew to include supporting school activities, | | | | reach these goals. This goal setting has been a |
| helping with homework (when asked), and having fun | | | | surprising chapter in my grief journey. You may have |
| together as a family. | | | | surprises, too, as your journey evolves. Enjoy them. |
| Angela Morrow, RN, writes about goal setting in her | | | | |