| Parenting may be the most difficult job in the world; | | | | Setting Some Ground Rules. |
| making being a stepparent seems downright | | | | Whether your stepchildren live with you or not, |
| impossible! It doesn't matter whether it was death or | | | | establish some ground rules regarding discipline, |
| divorce that ripped your spouse's former family unit | | | | punishment and respect with your spouse right away. |
| apart, the kids are still going to view you as the | | | | Learn what your limits are in regards to dealing with |
| outsider intruding on their turf. | | | | problems that may arise with the children, and what |
| Is it possible to build a bond of love and respect under | | | | your expectations are regarding ex-spouses. Let the |
| these circumstances? Of course, say the experts, as | | | | children help to establish some of the more minor |
| long as you acknowledge that your role as stepparent | | | | house rules. They need to know that their thoughts |
| will be different than that of biological parent - at least | | | | and feelings are being considered too. When it's time |
| in the beginning. | | | | for discipline, allow the biological parent to take the lead |
| Statistics show that a whopping 60% of all marriages | | | | whenever possible. Kids have the tendency to accept |
| with stepchildren will fail, oftentimes due to the couple's | | | | it better that way, at least in the beginning. |
| inability to turn his kids, her kids and their kids into a | | | | Getting to Know One Another. |
| family. | | | | Take some on-on-one time with each stepchild to get |
| Being a stepparent is tricky. Your job as a parent | | | | to know them better. You have a unique arrangement |
| remains the same: to teach your children (all of them), | | | | that allows you to be more friend than parent, |
| how to become responsible, loving and caring adults. | | | | especially if your spouse isn't the custodial parent. Use |
| The trick to accomplishing that in a stepparent role | | | | it to your advantage. Have fun together. It'll help you |
| takes the following: | | | | build a bond of respect and friendship before |
| Acknowledging the Children's Feelings of Loss. | | | | becoming a parent-child team. |
| It doesn't matter what contributed to your new family: | | | | Establishing Some New Family Traditions. |
| divorce or death, children need time to grieve the loss | | | | Don't be jealous of the great family traditions your |
| of one family unit, and come to grips with the reality of | | | | stepchildren share with your spouse. Create some |
| a new one. | | | | new ones. Think of ways your new family can build |
| Not Expecting An Instant Love Connection. | | | | memories, especially at the holidays and during |
| You may wish that you could instantly fall in love with | | | | vacation times. |
| your step children - and they with you - but the truth is, | | | | Keeping a Sense of Humor. |
| just because you fell in love with their parent doesn't | | | | Humor is great for relieving tension, building intimacy |
| mean those feelings will come right away for his/her | | | | and keeping everything in perspective. Humor may not |
| children. Building a loving relationship with step children | | | | solve all of your problems, but it sure can help you |
| can take time. Show respect for their feelings and | | | | survive them! |
| doubts - and accept your own . | | | | |