| A few of my friends have become step parents in the | | | | 2. Give the children time. Different children respond |
| last few years. We talk frequently about their children | | | | differently to step parents. Some may be fine with the |
| and what is going on with their families. It's been very | | | | transition and may enjoy having the other person |
| interesting to hear about how they have handled the | | | | around. Others may be resentful or jealous of their |
| adjustment to parenting and some of the issues that | | | | parent's attention for the new person. Give the children |
| go along with that. At some point, they have all shared | | | | time to adjust to the step parent. It's also important to |
| problems that have arisen because of the child | | | | let the children adjust to a different situation with |
| custody situation. The more we've all discussed, the | | | | custody and visitation. The parents should do |
| more we've come to realize how to best handle the | | | | everything they can to make this easier for them. |
| issue of child custody. Here are three child custody | | | | 3. Work out problems with your spouse first. If there |
| rules that have developed that can help while step | | | | are issues with the children (like them disobeying or |
| parenting. | | | | being disrespectful) decide with your spouse how you |
| 1. Don't expect the situation to magically change. A | | | | will handle that. It's imperative that the parents are a |
| step parent may feel like once they are involved, they'll | | | | team when dealing with the children. It may be more |
| be able to help their spouse work out the child custody | | | | beneficial for the child's biological parent to have a |
| issues. The new spouse can be very helpful and | | | | calm discussion about inappropriate behavior than the |
| supportive, but a step parent needs to accept that | | | | step parent reacting in a big way. The step parent |
| changes for child custody go very slowly. Because the | | | | shouldn't ever feel slighted by their spouse and the |
| step parent is new to the situation, they may want | | | | children. The spouse should be a big support as the |
| immediate, drastic change for any flaw they find with | | | | step parent adjusts. |
| the custody agreement. They may also want their | | | | These are just a few of the basic child custody rules |
| spouse to stand up more to the other parent and not | | | | that have helped my friends through the years. If you |
| give in to so many demands. It's best for the step | | | | are a step parent, or about to become one, you are in |
| parent to take a deep breath and be patient. This will | | | | for a good time. There may be difficulties, but the |
| allow the new couple to work together to solve | | | | rewards far outweigh the challenges. |
| custody issues and be okay with small victories. | | | | |