| It is important that it takes time, effort and a great deal | | | | speaking, the premarital adult-child relationships may be |
| of patience to blend two families. Just because the | | | | confusing for mature adults as well as children. |
| adults have gone through a marriage ceremony or feel | | | | Regular Family Meetings |
| committed to each other, it does not automatically | | | | The most successful families I have worked with have |
| blend personalities, experiences and expectations. | | | | always had a regular family meeting or round-table |
| Children in step families have a number of emotions | | | | weekly. This enables all members of the blended |
| that come into play when a non-parent suddenly | | | | family to discuss issues, set goals and clarify situations. |
| enters the picture. | | | | These meetings, which allow both parents and children |
| Life during the courtship period is frequently unrealistic | | | | to participate and become empowered. Held on a |
| as well as confusing. Daily life takes teamwork and | | | | weekly basis, many small problems can be solved |
| cooperation to make a house a home. You may not | | | | before they become large ones. |
| be the natural Daddy or the Daddy they wanted, but | | | | Discussing problems and expectations on a regular |
| you do deserve respect. Respect is earned and does | | | | basis allows everyone to feel part of the team. Make |
| not come automatically. | | | | sure that you and your spouse are united on goals for |
| Step families Are Special | | | | the family and that you show respect and kindness to |
| Parenting is hard enough in the first place and children | | | | each other and the children. A good parenting plan |
| love to test the limits of our patience and skills. Please | | | | includes all responsible adults. |
| remember that the children did not ask to be in this | | | | You Are Not My Daddy |
| position and are understandably concerned and trying | | | | One of the main issues of step parenting is to do your |
| to work out the relationships in their own minds. | | | | level best to respect and honor the relationship the |
| The child may have been in a position where the | | | | child has with the biological parent, but still offering love |
| mother's boyfriend gave him treats or special attention | | | | and attention. Talk about the biological parent in positive |
| in order to win the affections of both mother and child. | | | | or neutral terms. If you speak negatively about the |
| Now, in a day-to-day experience it takes a lot of give | | | | parent, the child will feel defensive, guilty and as if he |
| and take to make the family work, and rewards are | | | | too was being judged harshly. |
| not forthcoming for just being there. Generally | | | | |