| There are so many challenges that come along with | | | | that aside for right now. And then do it. Put the rest of |
| being a single parent, but one of the most difficult, is | | | | your life on hold. It will still be waiting for you when you |
| truly enjoying time with your children when there are | | | | are ready. |
| so many other areas of chaos around you. Yet, while | | | | 4 - Look at your children as if seeing them for the first |
| it is one of the most difficult, it is also one of the most | | | | time. Notice your child's' eyes, how his/her face has |
| important areas to focus on for you and your children. | | | | changed, how tall they have gotten in the past few |
| Studies have shown that divorce is not a traumatic | | | | months. |
| event for children to live through, but that the | | | | 5 - Start with a hug, with the intention of creating a |
| aftermath, what you do once the divorce has | | | | connection that has been overlooked. No matter how |
| occurred, is truly what impacts our children most. And | | | | old we get, we could always use a hug. Embrace how |
| if your accomplishments lie on the fact that you are | | | | they feel in your arms, as you try to recall the first day |
| surviving each day and getting each child safely into | | | | you ever held your child. |
| bed at night, you may begin to pat your back...but just a | | | | 6 - Acknowledge how patient they have been while |
| little. It is a good start, but it only touches on the | | | | you have been under duress. Surely they have also |
| surface of what creates a well-adjusted child of | | | | been waiting for you to have time to spend with them, |
| divorce. | | | | and have been under stress themselves. |
| The real challenge is being able to table all of the other | | | | Now you are ready to truly enjoy what has been |
| challenging areas for the moment, long enough to really | | | | missing. Unconditional love. |
| engage with your children. It's about learning to focus | | | | You may be surprised to see that while you are |
| on this moment, as if it is truly the one moment you | | | | enjoying whatever moment you've created together, |
| have. Focus on each detail around you as if it will | | | | the stress of other areas in your life will settle |
| never again be this way, as if it is the golden moment. | | | | comfortably into a side pocket. Keep it there as long |
| But how? As single parents, we are faced with new | | | | as you can and hold onto how it feels to have it there. |
| careers, bills we are unfamiliar with, challenges that | | | | Acknowledge aloud to your child how much you |
| seem overwhelming, household chores and even | | | | appreciate them and how much you have missed |
| finding a new circle of friends, so how do you find time | | | | being in the moment with them. |
| to just enjoy your children? First of all, take a deep | | | | And finally, take another deep breathe before leaving |
| breath and a quiet space to clear your mind. | | | | the moment and remember that at anytime, your child |
| Tips to truly appreciating the moment with your child: | | | | will gladly have you back and your "stuff" will surely be |
| 1 - Announce that you are going to stop everything | | | | willing to wait for you. Remember that while the other |
| else (no laundry, cleaning, phones, computers, etc.) | | | | stuff will wait, though, each moment your child has |
| 2 - Ask your child what he/she would like to do that | | | | without you, will be missed. They will be waiting for you |
| would be fun (If you have a time restraint, make | | | | as well, but they will have grown, their needs will be |
| reasonable, but fun suggestions: play cards, get ice | | | | different and you will have missed whatever it is that |
| cream, play a board game). | | | | occurred. |
| 3 - Be honest. Explain that you have been | | | | Enjoy the moment. It is the only one you've got. |
| overwhelmed with your stuff, but really want to put | | | | |