| There are many pros and cons of single parenting. | | | | about our lifestyle, it is imperative to have two incomes |
| How well cope with being a single parent will depend in | | | | coming into the household. Everything costs so much |
| part on whether we see our situation as basically | | | | and the kids have high expectations; wanting this toy |
| positive or not. I hope this article will help you to see the | | | | and that computer game. This can put incredible |
| upside more clearly, and maybe feel a little more | | | | pressures on single parents who tend to have |
| control over the downsides. | | | | severely constrained finances. I was living on |
| The Pros of Single Parenting | | | | government benefits while I was a single mom and |
| Greater Control | | | | was only able to run a car with the financial help of my |
| An obvious advantage is having far greater control | | | | parents with tax and insurance. Children of single |
| over the child's routines, discipline, nutrition and habits | | | | parents I guess need to learn to enjoy what they do |
| than may be the case when living with the father. | | | | have and all you can do is try to teach them that |
| There are sometimes conflicts over how to discipline | | | | attitude. Leading by example is the best way to get |
| the child and that just leads to confusion and insecurity. | | | | this message across. I sincerely believe that being |
| Manipulative Children: Thwarted! | | | | grateful for what you've got is the first step towards |
| A big problem in some households is the children trying | | | | getting more. |
| to divide and rule: trying to play one parent off against | | | | Childcare |
| the other in order to get what they want. This is clearly | | | | Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is |
| much less of an issue in single parent households. | | | | childcare. This can be a big issue for single parents. |
| Total Financial Control | | | | Parents in couples have the advantage of being able |
| Having total financial control can be a huge relief if you | | | | to share childcare if their working hours permit it. |
| were with a financially irresponsible partner. You may | | | | Others are able to use grandparents as a childcare |
| have less income now, but you're now able to choose | | | | resource. If you have to use professional childcare it |
| exactly how it's used. | | | | can get expensive. |
| Less People to Care For | | | | Limited Social Life |
| It's often said by mothers that the husband is like | | | | Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is the |
| another child in the house, in fact my husband jokes | | | | limiting effect it can have on your social life. Even as a |
| about it! Of course some husbands are more helpful | | | | married mother your possibilities for socialising change. |
| and considerate around the house than others. But all | | | | It's good to develop friendships (if you haven't already |
| husbands make basic demands on their wives' time | | | | got some) with other moms and do stuff together with |
| and energy. For the single mother they need only | | | | the children. This can work really well, especially if the |
| worry about themselves and the kids. | | | | kids are similar ages. You can take it in turns who |
| More Time For The Child | | | | hosts the group at home, or go out to a local park or |
| Another of the pros of single parenting is having more | | | | play area. That way you get to mix with other adults |
| time for the child. The single mom is able to focus on | | | | without the childcare headache. |
| the child's best interests without distractions or | | | | Difficulties Balancing Children and Work |
| conflicting opinions of another adult getting in the way. | | | | For any parent balancing children and work can be a |
| The Cons of Single Parenting | | | | problem, but for single parents this can be especially |
| Lack of Support | | | | difficult. Again it's the issue of childcare that's flexible |
| One of the disadvantages of single parenting is lack of | | | | and affordable. You may be able to look into the |
| support. Mothers with partners or husbands have | | | | possibility of flexible working, or working from home |
| support in parenting, even if that's only for part of each | | | | part of the time; or you may have to work part time |
| day. They have some backup. When you're a single | | | | as a compromise. |
| mother you don't have that backup there every day. If | | | | Loneliness |
| you're lucky you'll have family nearby who support you, | | | | Another of the disadvantages of single parenting can |
| but if not, what do you do? A good source of help can | | | | be loneliness. It can be lonely being a single parent, but |
| often be your local library; they will likely be able to give | | | | as I mentioned above the best remedy to this is to |
| you information about statutory provided support for | | | | meet up with other moms. You could also sign up for |
| parents, and voluntary organisations. Also you can do | | | | an adult education class that interests you or join a |
| an internet search for "single parent support" looking | | | | club. If you feel you would like to find someone special I |
| for sites within your country and I'm sure lots of helpful | | | | can personally recommend dating services as my |
| sites will come up. | | | | second husband and I met through one. When going |
| Too Much Pressure and Stress | | | | on a "blind" date there are certain precautions you |
| Another of the disadvantages of single parenting is | | | | should take to ensure your safety: |
| pressure and stress. Not having enough support can | | | | ~ Choose your location carefully: somewhere public in |
| lead to a feeling of being under pressure and this will | | | | daylight. |
| cause you stress. Motherhood is a demanding role and | | | | ~ Do not get into their car. |
| feeling that you have to do it all alone can lead to | | | | ~ Make sure you tell someone where you are going |
| overload. There are many strategies you can use to | | | | and what time you expect to be back. |
| deal with stress: among these are relaxation | | | | ~ Don't give away any personal information, except |
| techniques, going for a walk and exercise. | | | | perhaps an email address. |
| Financial Pressure | | | | Really, any choice you make (or situation that is forced |
| Another of the cons of single parenting is financial | | | | upon you) has an upside and a downside. I think |
| pressure. In the modern world and the expectations | | | | happiness comes from accepting your present |
| that most of us (at least in the Western world) have | | | | situation, while working towards your ideal situation. |