| Single parenting is challenging, but you can function as | | | | coach, a teacher, someone from a group or |
| both mom and dad. I say this not to devalue the | | | | association or someone from your church. Make sure |
| importance of both parents in a child's life, but to inspire | | | | you know who this person is before you let them be |
| parents who are truly alone in the world. There are | | | | around your child. Know that adults who prey upon |
| many examples of fine men and women who have | | | | kids often volunteer their services in order to get next |
| been raised by single moms or dads. In this article, we | | | | to your child. These people will seem normal and will |
| will first explore the effects of single parenting and | | | | work hard to gain your trust, but in your gut, you will |
| then offer some important tips. | | | | feel that something is not right. Trust your gut and |
| Effects of Single Parenting: | | | | protect your child. Proceed carefully and wisely, but |
| The effects of divorce on a child have been well | | | | don't underestimate the importance of a mentor of the |
| documented. Children of divorce have a higher risk of | | | | same gender in your child's life. |
| problems associated with adjustment, behavior or | | | | - Connection and Communication. Single parenting |
| social skills. This is most likely due to the stress and | | | | means working twice as hard to forge strong bonds |
| trauma created around the break-up. If parents can | | | | with your child. Bonding is all about connection, |
| handle divorce in an amicable way, still coming together | | | | communication and being there as guide and witness |
| as a team to support the best interests of the child, | | | | during the tough, triumphant and mundane moments of |
| then the risks are small. | | | | your child's life. Every child needs someone to feel |
| Obviously, single parenting does not always mean | | | | safe with, someone with whom they can let down |
| raising children of divorce. Some parents have never | | | | their guard. In a two parent marriage, one partner may |
| been married. Others have survived the death of their | | | | provide support when the other is unavailable for a |
| spouse. These adults are impacted by the same | | | | variety of reasons. As a single parent, you are the sole |
| issues faced by divorced parents: isolation, lack of | | | | support. Despite this, connecting and communicating |
| support, financial struggles and emotional overwhelm. | | | | with your child in a positive manner feels good and will |
| When an adult is constantly stressed, the child absorbs | | | | energize you in ways that will allow you to meet your |
| and mirrors these feeling states. | | | | child's needs. |
| Single Parenting Tips: | | | | - Engage your child in activities she loves. Be an active |
| - Get Support. You need to have friends, relatives or a | | | | participant in your child's growing awareness of the |
| support group that can help you manage your stress. | | | | world and what interests her. When you do something |
| Remember, your child reflects your feelings. If you are | | | | with your child, remember that children are |
| not relaxed, your child cannot be either. If there is no | | | | process-oriented, while most adults tend to be |
| support group in your area, start your own. Get | | | | goal-oriented. In order to truly engage your child, you |
| together to talk about the single parent experience. | | | | must allow yourself to become process-oriented when |
| Offer to watch each others' children to get some time | | | | you play with her or engage her interests. This is how |
| on your own or take care of things that you can't do | | | | a single parent creates a bond that goes beyond |
| with your child. It is important to have some alone time, | | | | meeting the child's physical and emotional needs. |
| away from your child and job, so that you can unwind | | | | Although single parenting can be tough, it is rewarding |
| and regroup. | | | | and fulfilling. If you incorporate these important tips into |
| - Find a Mentor. In a perfect world, single adults would | | | | your life, you are sure to create a healthy, loving |
| work together to help each other raise their children, | | | | relationship with your child. Your child's physical, |
| providing role models of both genders for every child | | | | emotional and spiritual well-being now and in the future |
| (and perhaps this is something you can facilitate if you | | | | depends on this. |
| start a single parent group). A role model can be a | | | | |