| (and how they can’t raise kids) | | | | reason to pack up two children and move them |
| | | | across the country away from everything they’ve |
| For some TV shows, it takes more than one to raise | | | | ever known after they’ve just lost their mom. Not a |
| a single dad’s kids. I mean, we all know that men | | | | good first single dad move. But it gives oldest son |
| can’t raise children. Right? | | | | Ephram another reason to hate his dad, which makes |
| Well, if you look at television shows, the answer is that | | | | for some good father/son shouting matches. |
| they can—just not on their own. So, as the | | | | Ephram often parents his younger sister Delia and |
| stereotype goes, parenting comes naturally to women, | | | | seems to know her better than his dad does. This is |
| and men need help. And in some cases, the help | | | | probably because when their mother was alive, |
| comes in the form of a wilder, more rebellious male. | | | | neurosurgeon Dad was never home. In one episode, |
| Not only can the seemingly responsible guy not take | | | | 8-year-old Delia picks out a movie for the family to |
| care of kids on his own, but he enlists the help of | | | | watch: “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate |
| someone even less capable than himself. Bumbling | | | | Factory.” Ephram tells his dad that he shouldn’t |
| fathers make for great entertainment, but what does | | | | let her watch it. His dad asks, “Am I missing |
| this say about men as single parents? | | | | something?” His son responds, “Eight years of |
| How many people does it take to raise a single | | | | raising her. She can’t watch that movie. It upsets |
| dad’s kids? On “Everwood” (now on the | | | | her.” In another episode, Ephram again brings |
| long list of cancelled shows), single dad Andy relies on | | | | Andy’s poor parenting skills to his attention the |
| at least three others to nurture his son and daughter. | | | | Ephram way—with an attitude. His dad asks how |
| His neighbor Nina, his doctor friend Harold and | | | | things are going with Ephram and his friend Amy, and |
| Harold’s mother all dispense advice to a parentally | | | | Ephram tells him that he hasn’t talked to Amy |
| challenged Andy. Occasionally, older son Ephram steps | | | | lately. His dad asks, “When did this happen?” |
| in. | | | | Angry teenage son responds, “A while ago. You |
| And, surprisingly, today’s shows about single | | | | were too busy being clueless.” |
| fathers aren’t that much different from the ones | | | | Ephram is not the only person who pitches in with |
| we watched years ago. | | | | parenting. Andy occasionally seeks help from Edna, an |
| Remember “Full House”? It was a half-hour | | | | older woman he hired to work for his practice as both |
| comedy that ran from 1987 to 1995. Danny | | | | nurse and office manager. He also discusses parenting |
| Tanner’s wife is killed by a drunken driver, so he | | | | issues with Edna’s son Harold, who is also a doctor |
| must raise his three daughters. Danny’s best friend | | | | and Andy’s business partner. Harold is married and |
| Joey and his brother-in-law Jesse move in with the | | | | has two children of his own. But Andy most often |
| Tanners and end up being two extra dads for the girls. | | | | seeks help from next-door neighbor Nina, who is raising |
| Jesse later marries Danny’s talk show co-host | | | | a son on her own. Although Andy has been a parent |
| Rebecca, who also helps with raising the kids. Danny is | | | | longer than Nina—since her son is younger than |
| clearly the most capable of the group, yet he still | | | | Andy’s oldest—he always asks Nina for advice. |
| needs help. And help comes from aspiring comic Joey, | | | | She never asks him for parenting advice. Maybe this is |
| who wears cartoon character pajamas, and from | | | | because she overhears all of those father/son |
| Uncle Jesse, a rock musician (allegedly) who wears | | | | shouting matches. But what does this say about a |
| black leather and is very interested in women. | | | | man’s ability to raise children? Why do the two |
| “My Two Dads,” a show that ran from 1987 to | | | | single parents not share parenting advice? Why is it |
| 1990, was about two men raising one child—hence | | | | that women are supposed to know how to raise kids, |
| the title. When teenager Nicole’s mom dies, she | | | | but men aren’t? |
| leaves her in the custody of Nicole’s father, whom | | | | To compare the portrayal of single moms with single |
| Nicole has never met. However, Mom also leaves | | | | dads, just look at the WB sitcom “Reba.” In the |
| Nicole in the custody of another former boyfriend, | | | | beginning of the series, Reba’s dentist husband of |
| Joey. The strange decision to leave a daughter with | | | | 20 years, Brock, leaves her for his much younger and |
| two former boyfriends upon death is not the | | | | more blond dental hygienist Barbra Jean, whom he got |
| point—although it’s probably the reason for the | | | | pregnant. Reba’s 17-year-old daughter, who is |
| show’s short life span. The point is that one | | | | recovering from alcoholism, learns she’s pregnant |
| caretaker isn’t enough when it’s a man. Michael, | | | | and decides to marry the father. Second daughter |
| Nicole’s father, needs the help of Joey and a | | | | Kyra moves in with Brock and Barbra Jean. Reba also |
| female judge—who oversees the upbringing—to | | | | deals with her last child Jake moving into adolescence. |
| raise his daughter. Joey is a carefree artist who has | | | | Reba confronts issues of single parenting alone. She |
| many lady friends. And this message that single dads | | | | cannot rely on her ex-husband and his new wife for |
| can’t fly solo continues to pervade TV. | | | | parental support. Dad tells Kyra to quit school and |
| “Two and a Half Men” is about two men, Alan | | | | focus on her music career, and Barbra Jean takes on |
| and his brother Charlie, who raise Alan’s son | | | | the “dumb blond” role better than Jessica |
| Jake—most often on weekends. Alan’s ex-wife | | | | Simpson. But imagine if the show were about a single |
| Judith usually keeps their son during the week. | | | | dad. Faced with so much dysfunction, he would need |
| Grandma Evelyn also helps with the parenting. The | | | | at least a next-door neighbor to dispense parenting |
| wild Charlie is busy living the life of a wealthy bachelor | | | | advice. |
| when his brother comes to live with him in his beach | | | | What about “Gilmore Girls” (which ended last |
| house. Charlie becomes a caretaker of sorts, but | | | | year, upsetting millions of women the world over). Yes, |
| parents Jake in a way that only a stereotypical male | | | | toward the end of the show’s life span, single mom |
| would. | | | | Lorelai asks for advice on raising daughter Rory, but |
| In the series’ pilot episode, Charlie bonds with | | | | for almost five seasons, she parents alone. At the end |
| 10-year-old Jake by letting him play at his poker games | | | | of season five, Rory convinces her boyfriend to steal |
| and taking him to meet girls. In a season two episode, | | | | a yacht for a night of fun, and both end up in jail. Then |
| Jake is in danger of getting suspended from school for | | | | Rory tells her mom she is dropping out of Yale. Lorelai |
| giving his teacher the finger. Charlie tries to save the | | | | goes to her parents for advice and then to boyfriend |
| day by wooing the teacher. Although Jake’s father | | | | Luke. But “Gilmore Girls” is different from |
| Alan is not as wild as Charlie, in one episode, Alan asks | | | | “Everwood” in that Lorelai is portrayed as a |
| a woman to marry him after knowing her only three | | | | very capable single mother. She and her daughter are |
| days. Charlie, the brother who usually causes the | | | | best friends. Rory makes a few mistakes, as most |
| trouble, is the sensible one in this situation and tries to | | | | kids do, and Lorelai seeks advice, as most parents do. |
| convince Alan that he shouldn’t marry. | | | | But on “Everwood,” Andy consistently has |
| When Judith goes on vacation in a season two | | | | trouble relating to his kids, and he always needs advice |
| episode, weekend dad Alan becomes full-time dad. He | | | | on how to raise them. |
| finds it difficult to take care of Jake and forgets to pick | | | | Progress has certainly been made on TV regarding |
| his son up from soccer practice. When Alan discovers | | | | single dads. To have single dads at all on TV is a step |
| he has to go to the Internal Revenue Service, Charlie | | | | forward. Back in the day, “The Donna Reed |
| must take care of Jake—and he’s not any better | | | | Show” and “Leave It to Beaver” depicted |
| at parenting. The brothers’ antics are entertaining, | | | | the “normal” family as consisting of a mother |
| but as dads, they are each a beer belly away from | | | | and a father. So, shows that are more realistic and |
| being a couple of Homer Simpsons. | | | | portray single dads are welcomed. But now we need |
| When the show is not a comedy, the wilder, rebellious | | | | to see more capable single dads to combat the pesky |
| male surrogate disappears because the stereotype is | | | | stereotypes that men aren’t good at raising children |
| mainly for humor—but others still help with parenting | | | | and that women are born with a child-rearing gene. |
| in dramas. On “Everwood,” Andy must raise his | | | | Let’s add “good with children” to our culturally |
| two children when his wife dies in a car accident. He | | | | defined list of what being a man is. I know there are |
| moves to Everwood, Colorado, because his wife had | | | | men who are better at parenting than some women. |
| said she’d been there once and it was “‘just | | | | For example, Will Smith or Pamela Anderson? My |
| like heaven.’” Sure, that’s a good enough | | | | money’s on Will. |