| "Go ahead, run with scissors!" | | | | well until we eventually we were all laughing! |
| It was not my best parenting advice, to be sure but in | | | | I had not come unglued, in fact what I had started to |
| reality, a symbolic statement. My younger son is | | | | do was let go. We would love to keep him safe |
| mentally challenged and at the chronological age of 22, | | | | forever but we can't. All we can do is have an open |
| he functions all over the board in his skills. He has an | | | | dialogue, asserting some caution, strategize with him |
| excellent vocabulary and has a lot of knowledge in | | | | and negotiate a plan we can all agree on. Then, I have |
| many areas. I hear rumors, his manners and | | | | to cross my fingers and hope for the best. He knows |
| thoughtfulness are exceptional outside of our home. | | | | to watch for traffic etc. but he has lost money and |
| When it comes to making some decisions, he does so | | | | possessions to friends. Like it or not, those are life's |
| with the same self awareness of a young child whose | | | | lessons! |
| perception of the world is based on only how things | | | | Our mantra has become "run with scissors". It is about |
| relate to and affect themselves. We often have | | | | letting go and being willing to take some risks. |
| difficulty getting him to understand the difference | | | | At the beginning of any fresh new year we are really |
| between what he is "able" to do and what is prudent. | | | | good at planning all the additional things we are going |
| For example, while we know he is capable of finding | | | | to take on but what do you need to let go of in order |
| his way to the local mall and home; we try to | | | | to make room for new habits, new activities? Let go |
| encourage him to go with someone from a safety | | | | and trust yourself to make the right choices for you! |
| point of view. (He is a personable young man, who can | | | | Are you willing to take risks that may not turn out |
| easily be fooled by "friends" especially really new | | | | exactly the way you want? Do you trust yourself to |
| ones!) | | | | recognize the difference between challenging yourself |
| It is hard not to lean towards being over protective. Not | | | | and being reckless? It is called a plan! You can climb |
| long ago, he was complaining, well, whining actually | | | | the steepest mountain but you wouldn't just start out |
| about something he was not allowed to do and his | | | | on your own without a plan, preparation and the right |
| (older) brother does do. No amount of explanation, | | | | tools would you? With all that in place, there are still |
| regarding their respective strengths and challenges | | | | risks you have to endure but it will be worth it, won't it? |
| would appease him. In a moment of exasperation, with | | | | From now on, I just am going to walk pretty darn fast |
| tongue planted firmly in my cheek, I said, "fine, go | | | | with scissors in hand! I might even sprint; I'll just check |
| ahead, while you are at it, run with scissors, play in | | | | that there is nothing in my way. I'll also trust I can let go |
| traffic, and stick a fork in the toaster" ..... You get the | | | | of things that don't serve me well and fill my life with |
| picture! My husband joined in with some cautions as | | | | what is worthwhile. How about you? |