| If you've had to deal with a strong-willed, out of control | | | | happened so you can protect yourself. |
| teenager for several years now, you are probably | | | | · You're letting anyone off the hook (except |
| stressed-out, and a big part of the stress may be due | | | | yourself). |
| to some resentment you could be harboring toward | | | | · You have to tell the out-of-control teen that |
| your teen. How do we, as parents, let go of | | | | you have forgiven him/her. |
| resentment? We forgive. How do we forgive? Here's | | | | · You have to trust your out-of-control teen |
| how: | | | | again. Trust is earned. He/she will have to earn your |
| In order to let go of resentment, we must first forgive! | | | | trust back before you can trust him/her again. |
| ==> Forgiveness: | | | | · You're saying to the out-of-control teen, "How |
| · Is a way to let go of resentment? | | | | you treat me is "OK." |
| · Means letting go of the past. | | | | · You're trying to alleviate his/her feelings of |
| · Is for you, not the out-of-control teen you | | | | guilt. |
| forgive. | | | | · You're trying to make that out-of-control teen |
| · Is a gift you give yourself? | | | | feel better about himself/herself. |
| · Lets you get on with your life. | | | | · You're trying to make the out-of-control teen |
| · Takes time. Maybe you're not able to forgive | | | | feel better about you. |
| yet. Perhaps the pain is too fresh. You don't have to | | | | You may need to forgive yourself too. Sometimes we |
| hurry. | | | | can't forgive others until we forgive ourselves. |
| · Is a process? It doesn't happen 100% | | | | I offer you this exercise in forgiveness. With your hand |
| overnight. | | | | on your heart, take a deep breath and affirm: |
| · Allow you to feel better about you. | | | | "I completely forgive my child. I know I've done the best |
| · Is a choice? It's not something you do | | | | I could given the circumstances. If I was in a different |
| because you "should" forgive, or because someone | | | | state of mind, or if I had more information, I may have |
| tells you to. | | | | parented differently...I ask God to help me reach the |
| · Allows you to heal old wounds so you can | | | | place of forgiveness for myself and for my child. I love |
| get on with the really important things in life. | | | | and accept myself with all of my problems and |
| · Gets you un-stuck. | | | | perceived limitations. Resentment is adding to my |
| ==> Forgiveness does NOT mean: | | | | stress. I am now able to replace it with forgiveness |
| · Forgetting. You need to remember what | | | | and hope. |