| Raising teenagers today takes guile, native cunning and | | | | people make the transition to adulthood. |
| old-fashioned trickery. Qualities that your grandparents | | | | The great challenge for all adults, whether parents or |
| probably had. Here are five strategies for raising | | | | broader community, is to engage with young people in |
| teenagers that your grandparents had and forgot to | | | | ways that are meaningful, challenging and relevant. We |
| pass on to their children: | | | | can use artificial means such as providing mentors, |
| 1. Mess with their minds - use facts, not scare tactics | | | | which are uncle and aunty substitutes or just make a |
| Generation Y's live in each other's pockets and they | | | | concerted effort to encourage them to interact with |
| tend to reflect each other's views, which are often | | | | other generations. |
| narrow and lack some historical perspective. It is useful | | | | 4. Talk to other parents |
| then for older generations to let their views be known | | | | It is also helpful to talk with other parents to find out if |
| to provide Gen whY's with a different perspective. It | | | | your teenager's behaviour is normal and within the |
| needs to be done in a way that is not self indulgent | | | | realms of acceptability. "So your son spends a lot of |
| and that doesn't lecture - with tact and guile. | | | | time on his own in his room. How long do you wait until |
| 2. Communicate as if you are going for a job interview | | | | you try to lure him out?" It just helps sometimes to |
| A professional communicator doesn't need to have all | | | | check with parents of teenagers of the same age. |
| the answers. They are confident enough to admit that | | | | Find out about the issues that they may be dealing |
| they don't know and they allow themselves some time | | | | with. |
| to figure out a better response. A professional | | | | Talk to other parents when: |
| communicator knows that remaining calm, choosing | | | | - You are unsure of party or group activity details |
| words carefully or deferring decisions means that they | | | | - You want to check that your child has a proper |
| are more likely to be listened to, and that they will | | | | grasp of some details |
| make safer decisions. | | | | - You are having a difficult time as a parent |
| NB: Get you free 32+ page electronic book How to | | | | - Your teenager is beginning a new phase of his or her |
| speak so kids will listen and listen so kids will speak at | | | | life and you need some hints |
| 3. Open up the door to mentors and the wider | | | | 5. Don't let them drop out of the family |
| community | | | | Spending time in bedrooms is just one way young |
| It is not uncommon for today's young to have very | | | | people can drop out of their family. Refusing to attend |
| limited access to broader family members and have | | | | family functions, celebrations or even mealtimes are |
| weak ties to cousins, aunties and extended family | | | | also common ways of dropping out. It is useful for |
| members. This model is ultimately doomed to failure as | | | | parents to negotiate with young people about the |
| the developmental task for a young person is about | | | | types of events that young people are expected to |
| rejecting one's mother and father before moving on to | | | | attend and those that they can pass by. It is helpful to |
| adulthood. In more traditional societies, it was the | | | | know which events are ... |
| extended family, rather than parents that helped young | | | | |