Raising Good Teenagers

POSITIVE TEENAGE PARENTINGpraise twice as much as you correct. As teenagers
Traditional teen parenting has embraced the belief thatgain proficiency at certain tasks and life skills, this builds
teen years are turbulent and stormy, and as a resultconfidence in them and they begin to feel good about
parents have had a negative vision and expectation ofthemselves.
these years, and inadvertently have developed aConfident people, who have a good sense of
corresponding negative vocabulary. Negativeself-esteem, relate well and interact with ease with
vocabulary only enhances and reinforces negativethose around them. That is, they are able to form
behavior. Negative means will always producemeaningful lasting relationships and connections.
negative ends.Parents need to encourage their teens to connect with
Sure enough, certain changes take place in theirother teens outside the family.
bodies, minds and emotions, as they make a transitionCharacter needs to be instilled and demonstrated in
into young adulthood. Their bodies start producing andthe home. Character is the internal moral compass that
infecting into their bloodstream new hormones, andsets boundaries. It defines what may and may not be
their moods begin to swing. But this does notdone. Teens need to be taught loyalty, honesty,
necessarily make them bad kids; intrinsically theyintegrity and respect for cultural rules and respect for
remain good people, and this is the message andauthority figures. Character is best instilled through
affirmation they want communicated to them.regular and consistent demonstration in the home.
Just as negative means will produce negative results,Character is very important and will play an important
so will positive means lead to positive results. That isrole in their choice of friends, and will give them
why it is crucially important for parents to develop abackbone to stand up to peer pressure.
positive vision and an accompanying positiveThe other life skill that needs to be taught and
vocabulary. Anybody likes and thrives in a positivedemonstrated in the home is caring. Caring is the ability
environment.to think beyond ourselves. It is the ability to sympathize
Parents need to parent their teenagers from theirand empathize with others. Empathy is the ability to
strengths, rather than always be criticizing andfeel another's pain, while sympathy is feeling bad that
complaining about their shortcomings. They need toanother person is feeling pain. This needs to be taught
keep a perspective on their teenagers infractions too,within the home. Families can volunteer together at
don't fuss too much about minor imperfections. In orderorphanages or assisted living centers, helping others
to parent from your child's strengths, find one orwho are not able to help themselves; giving care to
several things that they enjoy doing and seem to haveothers.
a natural talent at, and nurture these strengths. Do notLastly, when these five values - namely competence,
try to make them do what you wished you could haveconfidence, connections, character and caring - have
become. Let them be their true self and find their truebeen instilled and demonstrated to a young person,
talent and let them be and do what they were born tothey become good citizens and good assets to
do. Support their choices that are in line with theirsociety, who are able to give back to other people.
strengths. Praise them for every positive progressThey reach out to others, not with the expectation of
they make. Praise will always encourage anyone. Ifreceiving, but with the desire to give. They become
they are doing something wrong, considerate criticismcontributors to society.
needs to be sandwiched between two praises. That is;