| Confidence comes about through experience - | | | | precaution in case of parental illness or other |
| Experience comes about by doing it yourself. | | | | interruptions to your normal family routine anyway. |
| Don't do it for them - step back and allow your children | | | | These are only a few of the many ways your children |
| the opportunities to get the experience for themselves. | | | | can be encouraged in their own self confidence. |
| School age children need all the confidence they can | | | | Don't solve your children's problems for them |
| muster. They are away from you for many hours | | | | Instead, see the problem as an opportunity for learning |
| each day. Who does the thinking for them then? | | | | and growth and set them up with the chance to |
| The biggest problem with under confident children | | | | overcome the problem themselves. |
| comes from parents who do it all for their kids. | | | | Many parents allow their children to avoid reasonably |
| Many parents believe that their job in good parenting is | | | | challenging situations so they won't be inconvenienced |
| to look after all the many physical needs of their | | | | themselves. |
| children. Sometimes it just doesn't occur to parents | | | | Your children know when you will bail them out, and |
| that they could do with stepping back a bit and | | | | when you aren't being totally honest, and they will |
| encouraging their children to do more for themselves, | | | | muster their skills to have you rescue them. Call |
| have more responsibility. | | | | yourself out when you know you are doing this. |
| How can your children cry, "It worked! I did it! Come | | | | It produces fearful, timid children who lack confidence |
| and see what I did!" if your habit is to do it all for them. | | | | and decision making skills. It's hard to think of loving |
| Build their self esteem. | | | | parenting as over-parenting or over protective |
| Children need all the opportunities you can give them. | | | | parenting, but the line is crossed so easily and is often |
| Take a long look at all the things in your daily routine | | | | hard to go back on. |
| that you just do by rote for your children and see | | | | |
| what you could change.Effective parenting is always a | | | | Encourage risk taking in your children Self esteem |
| balancing act. | | | | tools come through communication. |
| Yes, children need to be children, but they need to be | | | | Have lots of open-ended conversations with your |
| raised towards independent thought and action as well. | | | | children to help them question how they would cope |
| Getting the balance right takes thought and | | | | with different situations. |
| consideration, but the payback is wonderful. | | | | Sprinkle you speech with open ended questions - use |
| As you allow your children to plan, decide, and act | | | | the six starting words. |
| from their own sense of confidence, you are providing | | | | How, Why, What, Who, When, Where. |
| them with opportunities to say look at what I can do | | | | Engage in conversations that begin with - |
| and to know it and experience that thought deep with | | | | * What do you think will happen if you do that, or don't |
| in themselves. That is confidence. | | | | do that? |
| Set up these opportunities regularly | | | | * How would you handle it? |
| Have them make their own lunches, make their own | | | | * Where would you go? |
| beds, do their own room cleaning. | | | | * Why would you suggest that? |
| Have them be more responsible. | | | | * When do you think that's appropriate? |
| In other words, have them look after themselves more | | | | * Who would you ask? |
| and be party to their own planning and decisions. | | | | This encourages your children to think for themselves. |
| They can, you know, they really can. And they will | | | | Listen to how you speak to your kids - do you tell, or |
| thank you for it in large measure when they are older. | | | | do you suggest? Do you talk or do you listen? |
| Show your children that you trust them - Build their self | | | | Commend Them |
| esteem. | | | | If you set up situations for your children to practice |
| How? By giving them the opportunities to do | | | | their confidence with, you are also giving yourself |
| trustworthy things. | | | | opportunities to commend them for their thinking, their |
| Have them work alongside you in the kitchen so they | | | | actions and their attempts. |
| become familiar with cooking and cleaning up. Then | | | | Make the most of these. |
| suggest one evening a week, or month when your | | | | Get into the habit of telling them: |
| school age children have the responsibility for the | | | | I noticed today that you were easily on time. |
| evening meal - the planning, the cooking, the serving | | | | I noticed how thoughtful you were. |
| and the cleaning up. | | | | I saw you really thinking carefully. |
| Plan outings together, showing them all that needs to | | | | Reinforce their confidence by noticing, by consideration, |
| be taken onto account. Then have them take | | | | and by listening. |
| responsibility for planning a day of family activity on the | | | | Thank them for their input into your family life. |
| weekend. | | | | Let them know that you observe, respect and |
| Talk through the routines necessary for getting off to | | | | consider them. |
| school each day, and then have them take more | | | | Help them to reach upwards towards their best |
| responsibility for their own planning. This is a necessary | | | | potential by giving them opportunities for practice. |