Raising Children Abroad - Special Challenges For Third Culture Kids

A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is generally being referred toprimary school child still feels strongly rooted in the
as " a person who has spent a significant part of hisfamily and attached to the parents, it can feel very
her developmental years outside the parents' culture".upsetting and stressful for older children. The common
Third Culture Kids enjoy a lot of advantages such asfeeling is described as being "different" sometimes
an expanded view of the world, a cross-culturaleven "isolated" wherever they go, even in their parents'
enrichment of their personality and many additionalcultures. They feel most at ease among other TCK's.
language learning opportunities. By meeting people andLuckily, there are more and more of them in our
making friends from different cultures and countries,"shrinking" world.
the child is exposed to different ways of thinking,As far as the ability to form friendships goes, the
different attitudes, habits and views early on and learnsfindings about TCK's are mixed. It completely depends
that there is more than one way to everything. Thison the child and the role models it has. Indeed, the
gives them a mature and balanced outlook on manyfrequent goodbyes can make TCK's less willing to
topics and a tolerance and respect for different peoplebond deeply with new friends, knowing well that they
from the early years onwards. TCK's also often gainmight leave again. This is exactly where we as
new language skills which enhance their culturalparents of TCK's play a role in making an extra effort
understanding further. As a consequence, TCK's oftento keep up friendships by staying in touch through
act as and sometimes even take up the identity as aemail, phone calls, frequent visits etc. We need to
"culture bridge".show them how relationships can be kept and
On the flipside, this can lead to confusion aboutnurtured across distances. This goes for our children's
conflicting values from the parents' home countries andfriends as much as for our own. As parents, we need
the host country, even confusion about which countryto place a special emphasis on relationships, nurturing
to feel patriotic about. Another common phenomenonthem and making them a priority in our lives.
is the lack of deep understanding of home countryThere are some unique challenges for TCK's. With an
history and culture. While TCK's often show a deepidentity as a culture-bridge and characteristics from the
understanding of foreign cultures and customs,different cultures they lived in, it can indeed be difficult
compared to their peers at home, they often lack theto re-integrate in the home country. TCK's have
depth in understanding their own. Common culturaldifficulty to truly fit in again and not stay an observer.
items such as popular movies or shows, or locallyWhen the peers at home become patriotic, the TCK
famous public figures are often unknown to TCK's.may have mixed emotions. That can make them feel
When handled well by the parents, TCK's willvery awkward. They might feel more at ease in an
experience their time abroad as a positive andinternational school even at home. Many TCK's travel
enriching time, which allows them to make friends allabroad again when they are adults and often choose
over the world and learn early on how big andjobs which will take them to different places. They feel
interesting the world is. Having to deal with changemost at home in the expatriate communities.
early on, often forces them to become independentRead more about this topic and raise happy multilingual
earlier than their peers at home.and multi-cultural children in the recently published work
TCK's sometimes report feeling torn betweenbook "Make Your Child Multilingual! The 10 Step
belonging and not belonging. While they understand soSuccess Plan to Raising Bi/Multilingual Children" "Make
many cultures and customs, they don't feel theyYour Child Multilingual!
properly belong to any one. While the infant and