| The "sexting" case, recently in the headlines, poses | | | | singing to sleep, rocking, holding. |
| many, many questions for society. Questions like | | | | - Gentleness is exhibited at every single contact, 24 |
| where were the "stop signs" in this young man's | | | | hours a day, 7 days a week. |
| behavior standards? Did he have any? Why or why | | | | - Respect is given to the infant whenever he or she is |
| not? | | | | communicating, eliciting a response from adults |
| How do parents miss out in setting up a sense of | | | | repeating the sounds or offering new ones. |
| acceptable behavior? | | | | - Integrity is exhibited when a parent tidies up the |
| Another question we can ask is if we can understand | | | | kitchen or picks up the newspapers demanding of |
| why most 18 year old boys do have a sense of what | | | | himself or herself the same standards of neatness as |
| is appropriate to send out as a mass email? | | | | with the standard applied to the toddlers toy box. Is |
| Are most young men raised in an environment with | | | | everything thrown out of the sandbox in the park or in |
| "stop signs"? | | | | backyard and allowed to rust there? Is everything |
| What is the environment surrounding our children from | | | | thrown around the kitchen, the laundry room, the |
| infancy that creates the warp and woof of their | | | | bedroom, the car? |
| character, behavior they see on a daily basis, an hourly | | | | - Restraint is obvious to the toddler when milk is spilled, |
| basis, a minute by minute basis that subtly creates | | | | when he or she spits out the cereal, when dishes fall, |
| "stop signs"? | | | | breaking on the floor, when the dog throws up or runs |
| Let's go back to basics. Some people believe you | | | | off, when the toddler opens a cupboard door pulling |
| can't worry about "heaping up riches for your children | | | | out all the pots and pans. Is it a hug and a cuddle and |
| but the need to act as you want them to act." How | | | | an admonition? |
| does this work? What exactly happens? | | | | - Compassion is demonstrated when playmates are in |
| For an infant, a foundation is built by every single thing | | | | distress because of an insect bite, a lost or broken toy, |
| that happens in his or her world. It's simple. The world is | | | | a loud frightening noise, or intimidation from a third party |
| the infant's parents, what they do or what they don't | | | | such as an aggressive child or an animal. Compassion |
| do. | | | | is also exhibited toward a pet that is thirsty or a |
| It is the adult actions embodying responsiveness, | | | | stranger who drops her purse in the supermarket or |
| gentleness and respect. Then for toddlers, layered on | | | | an elderly person who needs a seat in the train or the |
| to this foundation, are adult actions showing integrity, | | | | bus. |
| restraint, compassion, concepts of right and wrong. | | | | - Concepts of right and wrong are reenforced when |
| Following on to those toddler years, a four to six year | | | | aggressive playtime behavior or sibling interaction is |
| old now layers actions relating to the larger world | | | | stopped with an admonition, an explanation and a hug. |
| around them, television, a major environmental factor, | | | | It is also exhibited, very significantly, when television |
| the plethora of choices, selected and rejected every | | | | programs are turned off, when clothing choices are |
| hour of the day as the child experiences interaction | | | | made, when toy selections are made, how many and |
| with other children at school, with shopping, crossing | | | | which ones. |
| the street, playing in the park. | | | | The mindset, a subtle collection of "stop and go" signs, |
| But what exactly are these actions? Certainly, they | | | | is shaped and pretty much fixed by six years of age. |
| are many and varied but we can make a start and try | | | | Can this mindset be changed? Yes, but it's a lot easier |
| to keep it simple. | | | | to get it right the first six years. Some parents find it |
| - A parent responds to a child's crying, the need for | | | | difficult. They are not willing to take the challenge. It |
| food, a diaper change, and the need for affection, | | | | requires growing up. |