| Why is it that we tend to not appreciate what we | | | | beginning of our role as a parent. We want to nurture |
| have until it's gone? In the extra time that my mind has | | | | our children so they become loving, caring, respectful, |
| had freed up since my children have gone from home, | | | | compassionate adults of integrity, so we work hard at |
| I have found time for moments of reflection, time to | | | | this role we have been honored with. There is |
| learn to appreciate the present, and in hindsight wishing | | | | compelling evidence provided that children in infant |
| I could have appreciated the good stuff in parenting | | | | preschool years who are parented with lots of |
| while I was in it. I have also gained a whole new | | | | affection and consistent care develop all their |
| perspective of 'empty nest syndrome. You not only | | | | capacities in a healthy way. Children in extreme |
| have to learn to live without the children action, friends | | | | neglect or abuse end up with underdeveloped brains |
| in and out, dating, partying, school, exams, sports, | | | | as well as social, emotional and physical deficits. We |
| arguments, curfews, sleepless nights, and a lot of | | | | may qualify to win the sleepless night sweepstake, and |
| balance, you have to learn to live with yourself, your | | | | we may have to forget our own wants for a few |
| own space and your spouse all over again. Maybe | | | | years but it is good to know that this hard work is |
| more time is allowed to reflect, wondering where time | | | | especially worthwhile when our children are too young |
| has gone, how did the kids get this old this fast, and | | | | to remember. |
| why is my body not in sync with my brain that wants | | | | The rewards come when your 20 year old calls you |
| to enjoy this new freedom? | | | | her best friend and when you get an email from your |
| No one ever said parenting was going to be easy. | | | | 28 year old saying 'mom, can we hang out more next |
| There was never a book written to give all the | | | | time I come home' or simply 'thanks for encouraging |
| answers, but we all wished there would have been. | | | | me to be 'me'. It would be unloving for a parent to |
| There has always been and always will be experts | | | | expect our child to be anyone less than who they are |
| out there on parenting, from Dr. Spock of the 70's to | | | | destined to be. When the realization sets in that we |
| Dr. Dobson, Dr. Phil, and the Internet of today's | | | | are not in control of our children's fate, that this whole |
| generation. If you are a parent reading this right now, | | | | parenting thing is not about control, we are not God but |
| wondering which expert to try next because your child | | | | simply a guide, it becomes a test of faith. Our job is |
| just did another thing you cannot relate to, rest assured | | | | about honoring, loving and supporting this person |
| that "this too shall pass" and you really are the only | | | | in-the-making to become the individual they are meant |
| expert your children need! Maybe at some point, we all | | | | to be. All we can do is role model loving, personally |
| thought we could do things different than our parents | | | | responsible behavior. |
| did, not make the same mistakes, and in that thinking | | | | So, what is parenting? Maybe it is not so much what |
| process we cut ourselves off from the best advice, | | | | we give to our children but what we receive. The |
| support system and role models there ever was, our | | | | greatest gift is love, generously given, with no |
| parents! | | | | expectation of repayment. In the end, the greatest |
| Good parenting long ago was about keeping the | | | | reward is that "Reflection" that helps us see, just the |
| children alive. Loss of a child would be most often | | | | kind of parent we have been. The greatest realization |
| accident or disease/sickness related. We may have | | | | for me is that God loved me enough to give me |
| progressed far beyond the basic life and death issues | | | | children so I can give back with all my love, |
| but every once in a while we have to be reminded | | | | unconditionally! |
| that raising children is still about protecting life. The | | | | "The cleaning and scrubbing |
| difference between 'good' and 'bad' parenting | | | | Can wait for tomorrow |
| becomes very clear when we hear tragic stories such | | | | For children grow up |
| as 'abandoned baby in dumpster' or 'child dies of | | | | As I've learned to my sorrow |
| heatstroke after being left locked in a vehicle' or '1 year | | | | So guilt down cobwebs |
| old and 3 year old left alone die in house fire' or 'father | | | | Dust go to sleep |
| given life sentence for beating child to death.' | | | | I'm rocking my baby |
| Of course, keeping our children alive is only the | | | | And babies don't keep. |