| By learning to speak your child's "language," you begin | | | | based on how relationships are affected. Most people |
| to apply a powerful positive parenting technique that | | | | have a blend of these two perspectives, and will still |
| significantly improves both your relationship and | | | | tend to lean a bit more one way than the other. |
| influence with them. | | | | Both perspectives are perfectly normal and natural. |
| Let's explore two situations that can happen when you | | | | Neither one is better or worse than the other. |
| "speak" a different behavioral language than your child. | | | | However, when two people in a relationship have |
| If you are fast paced and energetic and your child is | | | | significantly different tendencies in this area, conflict |
| not, they may seem to move and speak so slowly | | | | can erupt. |
| that it nearly drives you nuts. | | | | For example, task oriented parents with people |
| Likewise, if you are more contemplative and slower | | | | oriented children may come across as too harsh or |
| paced and your child is fast and energetic, their energy, | | | | rigid to their children. Similarly, people oriented parents |
| volume, and pace might exhaust and frustrate you. | | | | with task oriented children may frustrate their children |
| If either of these situations describes your relationship | | | | because they (the parents) act "too silly." |
| with your child, the frustration and disconnect you feel | | | | The types of conflicts and misunderstandings that |
| may be because you and your child have completely | | | | come from these differences are many and varied. |
| different behavioral styles. | | | | To minimize these conflicts and build a better |
| The examples above reference some common | | | | relationship with your child, learn to understand and |
| frustrations that happen when parents and children | | | | speak their behavioral "language." The DISC model of |
| have different "motor" drives. A difference in motor | | | | human behavior is a powerful tool to help you develop |
| drives between parent and child can create a pace, | | | | this understanding and skill. |
| volume, and intensity mismatch between them that | | | | Study the model. Consider taking assessments so that |
| causes real stress and frustration in the relationship. | | | | you can objectively identify the differences and |
| Another common difference can occur between | | | | similarities you have with your child. If you will dig into |
| "compass" drives. Some people are naturally very | | | | understanding your child and speaking their language, |
| task-oriented. They tend to look at every situation as a | | | | you will be applying one of the most powerful positive |
| task to accomplish. Other people are very | | | | parenting techniques at your disposal - the "technique" |
| people-oriented. They tend to evaluate every event | | | | of love and understanding. |