| Ever blown your top to your children, only to regret it | | | | see you go to the same space. Revealing your |
| ten minutes later? | | | | vulnerability gives children permission to reveal theirs. |
| Silly question, it happens to us all no matter how | | | | It is a good anger management practice to check your |
| well-behaved our kids or placid and patient we are. At | | | | own anger levels from time to time. When you know |
| times the general strains and stresses of life wear us | | | | you are under stress and feel yourself about to blow |
| down so our emotional responses don't match | | | | your top- take a break, phone someone up (and vent |
| children's behaviours. Or rather, their less than perfect | | | | your spleen, if possible), or just to count to 20 (or 100) |
| behaviour doesn't warrant the 'screaming banshee' | | | | before you blow your stack unnecessarily to your kids. |
| response that you have provided. | | | | There is a place for parent anger in the discipline |
| So what do you do if you have blown your top and | | | | process - as long as it is controlled. There are the |
| given your children an absolute verbal blast with steam | | | | times when children really need to know they have |
| coming out of both your ears? | | | | crossed a line and your whole voice and attitude |
| First, check that your rare outburst of anger is just that | | | | needs to convey that a behaviour is unacceptable. |
| - rare. If you are always angry or over-reacting then | | | | Most parents will know the type of response I am |
| this is a fair sign that all is not right with you. I don't | | | | referring to. The voice goes steely and the words |
| want to state the bleeding obvious, but constant | | | | come out purposefully. Eye contact is strong and body |
| sudden outbursts of anger are a sign that all is not right | | | | language is direct. The kids aren't frightened. They just |
| with the world. It may mean taking a break, getting | | | | know that that their mum or dad mean what they say! |
| some additional help with your kids or even getting | | | | Gulp! It is the type of response that should be saved |
| some professional counselling to sort out internal or | | | | for times when children put each other down |
| relationship issues. | | | | unmercilessly, or when they show gross disrespect to |
| If your outburst is rare rather than pathological then the | | | | themselves, others or their environment. |
| best response is to show your children that your are | | | | We all want to steer clear from angry responses |
| human and apologise. Put a little time between your | | | | when we interact with those we love. But being |
| outburst and your apology and consider giving an | | | | human means that our behaviour doesn't always |
| explanation. "Sorry about yelling at you guys. I have | | | | reach the lofty heights that we would like, and at times |
| been working so hard lately. I guess I need a break." | | | | we lose our cool. So recognise the signs of pending |
| No need to grovel, just reveal your human side to your | | | | anger and take steps to manage it, and if you do lose |
| family. Your children will take their cues from you and | | | | the plot, reveal your vulnerability and apologise. Nothing |
| will more than likely talk on an emotional level if they | | | | wrong with that! |