| In a recent "In-Person" Parenting Class, I had a young | | | | taking our parenting classes were raised by |
| lady who was ordered to take parenting classes to | | | | authoritarian parents. They were forced to comply |
| help her understand her two young children. | | | | with rules, but never learned to think on their own. |
| Now, in both our online parenting classes and our | | | | They suffer from low self esteem and anger issues. |
| in-person parenting classes, we encourage participants | | | | And, since they learned how to parent by watching |
| to explore their own issues and work on any they | | | | their own parents, they have no way of understanding |
| may have. (It's very common for adults to suffer from | | | | what they are doing wrong. |
| various issues and not even know it.) | | | | So many little life lessons are simply not taught to kids |
| We had started talking about teaching children self | | | | today because the parents have not learned them |
| esteem. I asked the class if they had any questions | | | | first. |
| about the importance of teaching children to recognize | | | | 2) Children learn by watching and modeling. Parenting |
| their assets and feel good about themselves. | | | | classes are a good source of information, but unless |
| This beautiful young lady raised her hand. When I called | | | | parents learn the life lessons first, they can't possibly |
| her name, she refused to raise her eyes. Hanging her | | | | model them for their children. |
| head down, staring at the table, she softly asked, | | | | Parenting classes need to teach adults how to work |
| "What happens if you teach them so good that they | | | | on their own issues, in addition to showing them how to |
| figure out that they are too good for you? I don't want | | | | deal with children's issues. |
| my babies to be too good for me." | | | | Now, the young mother in my in-person parenting class |
| At first, the class thought she was joking. They all | | | | did make progress on her own self esteem issues. I |
| laughed. | | | | also introduced her to a local pastor who counsels |
| I said her name and she looked up at me with "deer in | | | | adults. She has come a long way. She now looks |
| the headlight eyes". | | | | healthy and happy and her two young daughters have |
| My heart broke. This young parent had such low self | | | | quick smiles and are doing a lot better in school. |
| esteem that she was afraid her children would leave | | | | Sometimes parents don't realize that the parenting |
| her! | | | | style they use will harm their children more than help |
| I'm telling this story to make two points: | | | | them. When they enroll in parenting classes, they learn |
| 1) Many, many parents today simply have not learned | | | | new techniques. But before they can begin |
| valuable life lessons. They can't possibly be expected | | | | implementing what they learn in parenting classes, they |
| to teach their children what they themselves do not | | | | need to work on identifying and understanding their |
| know. | | | | own issues. |
| Some parents suffer from anger issues. They were | | | | Many parents pick up what they need to learn from |
| never taught to deal with anger. How can they teach | | | | the parenting classes they attend. Our classes help |
| their children? | | | | parents identify personal issues and teach techniques |
| Some parents suffer from low self esteem. They | | | | to work on them. Not all parenting classes do. |
| were not encouraged or praised as children. How will | | | | The bottom line is: |
| their children learn good self esteem? | | | | Its important that parents realize that their own |
| Some parents are caught up in the "victim syndrome". | | | | upbringing needs to be fixed before they can be |
| Everyone is out to get them. What are they teaching | | | | effective parents. A good parenting class can help, but |
| their children? | | | | some parents will benefit from talking to a counselor or |
| The most prevalent issue I see is - most parents | | | | coach and a few will require therapy. |