| Mom or Dad, this is an easy question. You want him to | | | | 'how' of respectful behavior by extending it to them, |
| trust you! YOU want to be the person of influence in | | | | and then tell them you expect it back from them. |
| your teen's life. You want your teen to listen to you! | | | | Here's a strong hint: if you are working hard on your |
| You want her to respect you. You want him to come | | | | listening skills and giving your teen your absolute, |
| to you when he needs advice. | | | | undivided attention each and every day, you are |
| Parenting teenagers effectively requires learning some | | | | moving up on her respect meter. Fast. |
| fundamental skills. These skills are not difficult and you | | | | 3. Person of influence. |
| probably already know them. However, skip over them | | | | Every parent of a teenager wants to be the go-to |
| or refuse to apply them appropriately and you may | | | | person for their teen. And rightfully so. Don't make the |
| find your teen wants nothing to do with you. | | | | mistake of trying to be your teen's best friend, |
| 1. Listening. | | | | however. That's not your job at this critical part of their |
| If you want your teenager to listen to you, you must | | | | life. |
| first listen to him. That's old news, right? You already | | | | They need you to be a lot more than their friend. They |
| know all about that, don't you? But are you doing it? | | | | need you to be their *parent* and no one else can |
| If you are serious about encouraging your teenager to | | | | take over that role, so really throw yourself into the |
| listen to you, then try this little exercise. Keep a log of | | | | part! |
| exactly how many minutes each day you | | | | When parenting teenagers, you need to be a leader in |
| *intentionally* and *intensely* listen to your teen. No | | | | your family. Don't know how to do that? Look at your |
| newspapers or cell phones between you. You must | | | | own life and ask yourself if *you* are interested in |
| be looking her in the eyes and you must be reflecting | | | | following *you*. Your answers will tell you a lot about |
| her words back to her in order to make sure you | | | | how your teen looks at you and what you need to do |
| understand what she's saying as precisely as possible. | | | | to be the person your young teenager knows he can |
| Do you do this just ten minutes a day? You can do | | | | trust with the cares and concerns of his life. |
| anything for ten minutes a day, right? Give it a try for a | | | | Here's another parenting hint: focusing on listening and |
| solid thirty days. | | | | respect will get you headed in the right direction quickly. |
| Do you find this difficult? Look at it this way. If you | | | | Every one of us who are parenting teenagers need to |
| won't listen in this way to your teen, why in the world | | | | be skilled at those qualities. |
| should he *really* listen to you? | | | | When it comes to parenting teenagers, there are no |
| 2. Respect. | | | | magic formulas that bring guaranteed success. But |
| Respect is an earned quality and nowhere is this truer | | | | there are some simple strategies that have been |
| than when parenting teenagers. Teens are very good | | | | proven to work time after time. To be the person your |
| at knowing when someone is truly on their side or | | | | teenager comes to when he needs something, lay a |
| when they are being merely accommodated. | | | | strong foundation of respect and careful listening. |
| If you want them to respect your time, then respect | | | | It won't be long until you're hearing a lot more than |
| theirs. If you want your teen to respect your | | | | whom he thinks will win the game this weekend. |
| conversations, then respect theirs. Teach them the | | | | |