| I have heard countless parents of teenagers tell me | | | | shared with someone else. After you have done this, |
| that they feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and "feel | | | | try to book other appointments that come up in a way |
| drained" by their lives. They also often report that they | | | | that makes sense and minimizes the amount of time |
| feel guilty for feeling this way which makes them feel | | | | or days you are driving around from appointment to |
| worse because they feel they "shouldn't" be feeling so | | | | appointment. |
| overwhelmed. Parents in this situation often report that | | | | 2. Simplify your household tasks. Look at all the |
| they are not sleeping well, that they have a short fuse, | | | | household responsibilities you take care of each week |
| that they feel they cannot get everything done in the | | | | and identify if any can be reduced. For example: are |
| day that they need to, that they are not getting along | | | | there areas of the house that really don't need |
| with their spouses, that they never have time for | | | | thorough cleaning on a regular basis, can your teens |
| themselves or even that they are using alcohol to | | | | pick up one or two things to reduce the time you |
| relax in the evenings because they feel they cannot | | | | spend on cleaning or laundry, can you use a grocery |
| relax on their own. | | | | delivery service, which often times are not more |
| The fact that I am writing this newsletter tells you that | | | | expensive, to eliminate trips to the store? |
| there are many parents who have this experience. | | | | 3. Simplify Dinners. Cook enough so you can have |
| Being a parent is a big, demanding commitment and | | | | leftovers or by make easier meals that will save you |
| being the parent of a teenager brings even more | | | | time. Think about if there is a way to make the dinner |
| challenges with it. Parents are often juggling | | | | process quicker and easier. |
| transporting teens, getting them up and ready for | | | | 4. Remember that sometimes you should say "no". If |
| school (generally not an easy or enjoyable task), | | | | your teenager is always asking you to do things at the |
| following up with school meetings, working or taking | | | | last minute or is putting you on the spot in front of their |
| care of the home or both on top of their own day to | | | | friends to give them rides it is absolutely appropriate |
| day needs. It is easy for parents to get lost in the | | | | for you to tell them "no" and that they need to be |
| hustle and bustle and then realize that they never do | | | | more plan-ful about such things. |
| anything for themselves and feel like others are | | | | 5. Make time for yourself a priority. Figure out one thing |
| constantly "taking from them". It is also likely that | | | | you can do each week that is just for you. Whether it |
| parents in this situation will become resentful at some | | | | is taking an exercise class, going golfing or to a lesson |
| point which is often what results in their having marital | | | | of some sort, taking a long bath, going for a walk, going |
| conflict or a short fuse with others. It is important that a | | | | to the library or any other activity that you find |
| parent in this situation, or those heading for this | | | | enjoying - the point is that you make it a priority. |
| situation, make some changes which will reduce their | | | | Schedule it in so that nothing else can be scheduled on |
| overall stress. Some examples of things parents can | | | | top of it and so that the time you put aside is truly your |
| do are listed below. | | | | time. |
| Tips for Parents: | | | | You should not feel guilty for setting limits on your time |
| 1. Simplify your schedule. Look at a "typical" weekly | | | | or for scheduling time for yourself. You need to be |
| schedule and identify all the standing appointments, | | | | able to relax and enjoy things for yourself. Doing this |
| transports, games, meeting, etc that you have to do. | | | | will ultimately make you more available and helpful to |
| Then look to see if any can be combined, eliminated, or | | | | the others who depend on you. |