Parenting Solutions - 3 Easy Steps in Dealing With an Oppositional Child

Are you a parent with a defiant child? Are you pullingfrightening and overbearing to a young child who will
your hair out from opposition caused by your child? Ifthen cry and become obstinate. This, in turn, causes
you are a parent who is tired of being tired, screamingthe parent to react negatively with words or actions.
at your kids, putting them in time-out, etc., then thisThe cycle is repeated until one or the other gives in
article may be just what you are looking for.and/or collapses from exhaustion.
Households that are confusing (overactive) causeThe second step for a parent is to remain consistent in
more confusion. Young children do not know how tohis or her expectations of their child. Children will never
react to parents who come home from work tired andlearn what is expected of them if the parent does not
in need of peace and quiet - or how to deal with ashow consistency in that regard. I think back to my
household of siblings who also want and needown childhood and sitting in school. My teachers
attention. Therefore, negative attention, to a youngexpected certain things from their students; and they
child, is better than none at all.made it abundantly clear on the first day of class what
Understanding your child's need for attention is the firstthose expectations were.
step a parent must consider. It is perfectly natural for aThe third step is for parents to send a clear message
child to make demands. From the confines of the crib,to the child in language they can understand. Be firm,
a child learns to cry for attention. We have all heardbut friendly. Have your child repeat what the message
about the "terrible twos". This often is the result of ais. Have them explain it back to you in their own words.
toddler being curious and wanting to explore. TheNever argue with a defiant child. It will do no one any
parent tells him "No", but it's not satisfactory to him. Hisgood; not you, not your child. Years ago there was an
curiosity is overwhelming and he just has to knowold saying, "Children should be seen and not heard."
what is behind the closed cabinet.Although I do not adhere to that advice, I do have a
Likewise, the curious and defiant child wants to 'do ittidbit of other advice for you:
his way' and make the rules that pertain to him. "I don'tPretend to be invisible to your defiant child. Pretend to
want to go to bed" or "I don't want to eat this food" isbe deaf. Sooner or later, he will get the message that
a sign of independence at a very early age. So, howhis defiance brings no self-satisfying results. In the
does a parent cope with such a strong willed andmeantime, right now, go give him or her a big hug and
stubborn kid?let them know you love them. They are but little just
The first step is to keep calm. Raising one's voice isonce.