| I was helping to paint in a friend's house last weekend | | | | the ability to enforce your household rules. |
| when her two boys came in. They started asking | | | | Your kids have to listen to you. It's your job to keep |
| repeatedly if they could help paint (we were doing a | | | | them safe and to help them learn how to be |
| technical, faux-finish) and she said, repeatedly, no. One | | | | productive, healthy people. If they don't listen, you loose |
| of the boys proceeded to pick up a brush and start | | | | your ability to be effective. Also, beyond your own |
| dabbing at the walls. I said, "Tommy, I don't think you're | | | | relationship with your children is their ability to respect |
| hearing your mom. She said no." Tommy just kept | | | | and listen to the other adults in their lives. Your children |
| dabbing at the wall. Cheryl, the mom, just looked at me | | | | simply cannot bowl through life thinking they know it all |
| and sighed and said, "I have to pick my battles!" | | | | and not listening to anyone around them. |
| It's true that every parent has to pick which battles to | | | | It's up to you to be a loving authority in your home. |
| engage in or else we'd be nagging and reminding and | | | | When you choose to make this a priority when picking |
| reprimanding all day long. But there is one battleground | | | | your battles, you ease the pressure on many other |
| that you must engage in every single time. When you | | | | areas. Suddenly, you're not battling over sweets or |
| do this, you will minimize the skirmishes about other | | | | chores or play-dates any more. Instead you're having |
| things. | | | | real conversations about how and why you choose to |
| What is this mystery battle? It's the quest for respect. | | | | make the rules you do. You will still run up against your |
| When you loose your child's respect, you loose the | | | | child's difference of opinion and an occasional attitude; |
| ability to parent him. Most parents loose their child's | | | | but when your child respects you these battles come |
| respect by inches. Letting her get away with | | | | up less often. |
| disrespecting you by not listening to you is the quickest | | | | Choose this battle. Command your child's loving |
| way to loose her respect and your authority. | | | | respect as you set and enforce appropriate rules. |
| When I say "authority", I'm not talking about total control. | | | | Your whole family wins the war when this particular |
| We can never totally control another human being and | | | | battle is over. |
| it's a mistake to try. I'm talking about basic respect and | | | | |