| Structure is an integral part of any successful system. | | | | task, they are most likely to succeed. It is a parent's |
| Most certainly a family is a system. While children do | | | | obligation to make sure children are given knowledge. |
| not come with their own instruction manuals, | | | | Compassion- As human beings we are all part of a |
| addressing parenting concerns in a systematic fashion | | | | "bigger" picture. Children must be taught to consider the |
| allows parents to be far more effective. There are | | | | feelings and emotions of others. Those who |
| five C's to parent effectiveness: Confidence; | | | | understand Compassion have healthier interpersonal |
| Competence; Compassion; Committedness; and | | | | relationships. Those who are not taught compassion |
| Connectedness. All areas of parental concern, | | | | remain very egocentric, even into later adult years. |
| whether being a potential problem area or a value | | | | Committedness- Whether it is called consistency, |
| parents wish to impart to their children, can be | | | | stick-to-it-tiveness, follow-through, giving your word, or |
| categorized in one of the five C's. In this manner | | | | any other phrase, children must be taught the value of |
| parenting remains at a conscious level in a structured | | | | committing to something and seeing it through to the |
| form. | | | | end. This will affect everything from a school project in |
| Confidence- Confidence is important to an individual | | | | kindergarten to their work on a serious adult |
| because it lays the groundwork for anything that a | | | | relationship. Those who learn the value of |
| person does. When a child approaches tasks with | | | | committedness are those upon whom others feel they |
| confidence, it drastically increases his/her chances of | | | | can rely. |
| success. We impart confidence by praising children for | | | | Connectedness- Finally, children must feel connected. |
| what they have accomplished and by utilizing only | | | | Parents must provide children with a system with |
| constructive criticism. However, the biggest factor in | | | | which to be connected, e.g. family, temple, church, |
| confidence is unconditional love, i.e. loving a child for | | | | sports, etc., or children will find their own system with |
| who he/she is and not for what he/she does or | | | | which to connect. That "other" system may or may |
| accomplishes. Unconditional love gives children the | | | | not be one which holds the same values as parents, |
| ability to take risks without worrying about whether or | | | | such as a gang. |
| not they will be accepted or rejected. Children raised | | | | When instituted in a systematic, structured fashion the |
| without unconditional love spend the rest of their lives | | | | five C's provide parents with a solid basis upon which |
| trying to gain the approval of others, sometimes in | | | | to parent. Confidence, Competence, Compassion, |
| very inappropriate and destructive ways. | | | | Committedness, and Connectedness are the |
| Competence- We must give children the tools with | | | | cornerstones of effective parenting. |
| which to be successful. The biggest of these tools is | | | | Copyright 2009 Yellen & Associates All rights |
| knowledge, usually in the form of education. When | | | | reserved. |
| children are confident and have the competence for a | | | | |