Parenting Advice: When Your Kids Fight

Researchers tell us that 36 million acts of sibling rivalryWhen your kids fight, and you step in the middle,what
occur every year. Some are severe. Most are normal.will your kids remember?
When your kids fight, they want you in the middle.Your yelling?
They want you to be the judge and jury. They eachYour swearing?
want you to take their side. I remember my ownYour hitting?
mother's reaction.Your lecturing?
When I was a kid, my brother, Art, and I foughtYour letting them duke it out?
constantly. We kicked, we teased, we shoved, weKnowing what to do in the heat of the moment isn't
called each other names, and we rolled over and overeasy. What is easy, is letting your own anger explode.
on the ground punching each other as hard as weIf you do, what are you really teaching your kids?
could. My mother said, "I was sure you two would killParenting Tips and Advice:
each other."Talk the situation over with your partner.
Many fights started in our backyard. In my excitementCome up with a logical plan for handling future fights.
to win the fights, my yelling grew so loud that theTell your kids (when they're not fighting) what will
whole neighborhood knew we were slugging it outhappen the next time they fight.
again. My, mother, a rather shy person, would throw upDetermine to respond with your reason and not your
a back room window and yell, "For God's sake Jeanie,emotion.
shut up!" The whole neighborhood heard her too. HerFollow through with the plan.
shouts embarrassed me and hurt my feelings but theyIf you react to your kid's fighting the way my mother
didn't stop me. My brother and I fought like that almostdid, you can change.
every day. And almost everyday mom would shoutAsk yourself these three questions:
the same command.What will my kids remember about my reactions?
Looking back, I can't remember what Art and I foughtWhat am I really teaching them?
about. I can remember my mother's words. How aboutWhat do I want to teach them?
you?Here's to your parenting success!