| It is sometimes said that teenagers live at a world of | | | | And this is really the second point to keep in mind. You |
| their own, but this irrational belief can lead to very poor | | | | should speak to your teenagers as you would speak |
| parenting advice. The truth is that teenagers live in the | | | | to anyone else. This doesn't mean that you have to |
| same world as adults, small children and all of us. They | | | | coddle your teens -- after all, you would not coddle a |
| have the same fears, hopes, insecurities and dreams | | | | friend or acquaintance. But it does mean that you |
| as anyone else. The only difference being, that | | | | should be civil and respecting of their different points of |
| teenagers are going through a transition stage toward | | | | view, just as you would with a co-worker, friend or |
| becoming adults. This transition is not only cultural, but | | | | someone you had just met. |
| also physical -- hormones are racing through the | | | | The best parenting advice about talking to teenagers |
| teenager's body, affecting their preferences, | | | | boils down to this: talk to them in the same way that |
| decision-making processes, and of course, their | | | | you would talk to anyone else. If your neighbor Fred |
| physical appearance. | | | | would object to a barrage of personal questions, or |
| By keeping in mind that teenagers are exactly the | | | | being "preached at" on subjects of morality, religion, or |
| same as anyone else who may be going through a | | | | ethics, then you can bet your last dollar that your teen |
| difficult transition period, parenting becomes easier. | | | | will also object to being spoken to in this way. |
| After all, if you assume and that your teens are "from | | | | Besides talking to your teen often and |
| another world," then a right off the bat you're going to | | | | non-judgmentally, the most important advice for |
| have a more difficult time dealing with them. So let's | | | | connecting with them is to listen. True listening is |
| discuss the most effective ways to deal with | | | | somewhat of a rarity in our society, and it requires not |
| teenagers going through this transition stage. | | | | just hearing the words, but taking time to process the |
| The first and best parenting advice for those with | | | | other person's point of view and attempting to gain a |
| teenagers is this: talk to your teens as much as | | | | real understanding of their position. |
| possible. This point cannot be overstated; you should | | | | Think about it this way, you probably enjoy talking to |
| talk to your teenager about anything and everything as | | | | friends or coworkers who are good listeners, right? |
| often as you can. Even controversial subjects or | | | | Well guess what? So does your teen! Your teenager |
| sensitive issues like sexuality, politics, tolerance, drug | | | | will be naturally drawn toward communicating with you |
| use, and alcohol are all fair game. | | | | on a wide variety of issues if you have proven |
| Keep in mind though, that the idea here is to simply talk | | | | yourself to be a good listener. Additionally, by doing so |
| to your teen, not to "preach" at them about these | | | | you are also teaching your teen by example, and it is |
| issues. Why is this important? Really, it's just basic | | | | much more likely that they will grow up to the good |
| psychology; if you preach to your teenagers in | | | | listeners as well. |
| absolute terms, they are likely to rebel or become | | | | The best parenting advice usually comes down to |
| argumentative. It is strange that so many parents | | | | basic common sense, and by communicating with your |
| make this mistake, because they would never | | | | teen using the same respect you would give anyone |
| "preach" to their friends or other adults in this way. | | | | else, you will gain their trust and understanding. |