| -- End Ad Box ---> | | | | exception to that rule, define the exception up front. |
| Are you parenting a teenager? Would it help to know | | | | Don't make us figure it out by trial and error and then |
| what he (or she) is thinking? | | | | getting in trouble. We can't read your mind." |
| Recently I sat down with a 17 year old young woman, | | | | (Colleen) "Parents get frustrated by that one, too. |
| Amy (not her real name), and asked her this question. | | | | Anything else?" |
| (Colleen) "Amy, what frustrations do teenagers have | | | | (Amy) "I also think that pushing all the time about joining |
| with their parents? What do teenagers wish they | | | | family activities just makes teenagers tune out. For me, |
| could tell their parents, but often don't?" | | | | I enjoy spending time with my family, but not every |
| (Amy) "Well, let me think a minute. Okay, here's a | | | | minute of every day. I want to spend time with my |
| thought. Parents are all the time complaining we | | | | friends, too. |
| (teenagers) don't do as we're told. I'm talking about | | | | "If I know when it's important to be at family stuff, then |
| things like chores and such. But parents need to | | | | I make sure I'm there and I can plan with my friends, |
| remember that most teenagers have really full | | | | too. More of a balanced plan." |
| schedules. | | | | (Colleen) "Thank you, Amy, for sharing with us. Your |
| "Honestly, we often just forget to do what we're | | | | comments are very insightful." (End of interview.) |
| asked and then we get in trouble and the whole | | | | Good food for thought, isn't it? (If you would enjoy |
| situation escalates. | | | | more tips on parenting teens, please see the author's |
| "What I have found works for me is for my mom to | | | | resource box below.) Do Amy's frustrations sound |
| give me a list of what she wants done and also when | | | | familiar? You might want to sit down with your own |
| she wants it done. Then I'm able to fit the jobs into all | | | | teen and ask these same questions of them. But be |
| my other activities and if I forget, it really is my fault. I | | | | prepared to listen and not lecture, if you want the real |
| keep up much better with my chores this way, plus I | | | | answers! |
| like managing my own schedule." | | | | Parenting a teenager can be hard work. Good |
| (Colleen) "That's good information, Amy. Any other | | | | parenting means listening and guiding. Giving a measure |
| thoughts?" | | | | of freedom within clear boundaries and often walking |
| (Amy) "Yes. Another thing parents might consider is if | | | | a fine line of balance. |
| they have a particular rule and they say there's an | | | | And lots of hugs are a good idea, too! |