| > | | | | in their best interest, it requires that you remain in |
| So when was the last time you lost your patience with | | | | control of your emotions. Don’t be ashamed if |
| your children? To answer that, would you be looking at | | | | you need time to cool off or to get help. |
| your calendar or the second hand on your watch? | | | | Now I don’t claim to be an authority when it |
| The problem with having children is that by the time | | | | comes to raising children but I’ve learned a few |
| you’ve learned everything you need to know to | | | | things from my own personal experiences--or did I |
| raise them, they’re almost grown. By the time | | | | really mean to say, tribulations. From my observations, |
| you’re wise enough, you’re too tired. One | | | | it would appear that raising children is synonymous with |
| thing I have to say about having children is that it | | | | raising your voice. Fortunately there is always help |
| makes you appreciate your own parents. | | | | available, if you’ll just buy the latest book some |
| A frequent source of conflict between children and | | | | expert wrote! Now, I’m not against |
| parents is that they do not think alike, much to the | | | | ‘experts’ but have you ever noticed that |
| consternation of parents. For instance, I like putting | | | | they don’t always agree? Maybe they should all |
| things back where they belong so I can find them the | | | | get together and read each other’s books? |
| next time I need them. My children don’t seem | | | | This way you’d only have to read one. I believe |
| to have this same tendency. When things get out of | | | | in consulting books and getting information but it always |
| place, I can easily get out of sorts. But after much trial | | | | has to be in the context of common sense. After all, |
| and error, I realized that it’s not worth raising | | | | who really knows you’re child better than you? |
| your blood pressure over a $40.00 power tool. Nor is it | | | | Relating experiences about childraising doesn’t |
| worth damaging the self esteem of your children (now | | | | necessarily have to described in technical terms nor |
| that’s an overused word I bet you’ve | | | | does it require a string of degrees to understand. In |
| heard before)! One way to abate the anger you feel | | | | fact, the last time I checked, they don’t even |
| from having your personal possessions and tools | | | | give out a certificate for cleaning the bathroom floor |
| strewn out all over the lawn is to remember that | | | | after a sick child threw up at 3:00 A.M. in the morning. |
| it’s probably divine retribution going back to | | | | Not even when you had to be at work at 6:30 the |
| when you were a child and did the very same things | | | | same day. If they do, then I want mine! No, I |
| to your parents! | | | | didn’t get a diploma to hang on my wall nor did I |
| In all honesty, losing your temper is easy. Some people | | | | get to walk across a stage with one of those square |
| seem to lose it a lot more than others. Incidentally, why | | | | hats and a tassel. |
| is it that those who lose their temper the most always | | | | In our primordial state, we balanced our feelings of |
| seem to find it again? Maybe it should’ve | | | | frustration or anger by striking out in retribution against |
| stayed lost! | | | | whatever caused it. But in the family situation there is |
| Actually, losing your temper is the most | | | | no foe to vanquish. So against our invisible feelings of |
| counterproductive thing you can do as a parent. | | | | frustration, we sometimes subconsciously designate |
| It’s admitting to your children that you’re | | | | someone visible to be the foe. When this happens, we |
| not in control. But in any dispute between emotion and | | | | feel vindicated by subjecting our children or our spouse |
| common sense, it seems that emotion almost always | | | | to being the object of our anger. This type of reaction |
| wins out. Maybe your best bet is to try another | | | | only exacerbates a situation where others are |
| approach when things start to get tense before you | | | | depending on you to react in a mature manner. |
| vent your anger. It’s easier to maintain control of | | | | In summary, you should correct your children because |
| your temper than to wait until it’s unleashed and | | | | they need it, not because you’re angry or lost |
| try to reign it back in. Once you’ve gone past | | | | your patience. Instead of lashing out in frustration |
| the point of no return, it’s sort of like jumping off | | | | against your spouse, seek their support. In the arena of |
| a house and trying to stop halfway. Too late! | | | | conflict and resolution, there is no foe unless you |
| Dealing with children isn’t supposed to be easy. | | | | create one. But there is one consolation. Eventually you |
| In case you thought otherwise, your children will subtly | | | | will get even with your children. Because one day they |
| remind you over and over again! There will be times | | | | will have children of their own. And it will be their turn to |
| that you won’t always know the best thing to | | | | appreciate you.write about children, wives, financial |
| do, especially when it comes to the issue of discipline. | | | | affairs, relationships, etc. |
| Unfortunately, children don’t come with | | | | Don't know anything about raising children? Your |
| instructions--if they did, you wouldn’t have time | | | | children will teach you! The only problem is that by the |
| to read them anyway! Children, however, need some | | | | time you've learned all you need to know, the kids are |
| direction from you as a parent. And instruction. And | | | | grown. |
| because of time constraints, sometimes parents will | | | | Losing your temper is the most counterproductive thing |
| skip over the instruction that children need and go | | | | you can do as a parentsometimes parents will skip |
| straight to the punishment phase. | | | | over the instruction that children need and go straight |
| Regrettably, discipline is a part of every child’s | | | | to the punishment phase |
| upbringing, regardless of how you feel about it. No | | | | No parent relishes the thought of having to discipline |
| parent relishes the thought of having to discipline their | | | | their children so we generally procrastinate doing so |
| children so we generally procrastinate doing so until | | | | until we’re about to lose control. And |
| we’re about to lose control. And that’s | | | | that’s precisely when we need it the most. |
| precisely when we need it the most. So, in order to act | | | | |