| Caroline rushed in and sat down in the living room in a | | | | strong emotion was not agreement or disagreement, |
| huff, clearly frustrated from something that happened | | | | but rather acceptance. She needed him to recognize |
| at school. Jerry could see his daughter was distraught | | | | and empathize with what she was feeling. |
| and wanted to find out why. His first response was | | | | Let's rewind and go back to Jerry's living room. Jerry |
| obvious, as he approached Caroline and began asking | | | | walks into the living room and sees his daughter |
| questions. | | | | simmering. |
| "What's with the attitude? Did something happen at | | | | "I see that you're upset about something," he begins. |
| school today?" the father asked. | | | | "Mrs. Ritchie says she's calling off our class play," |
| "Mrs. Ritchie says she's calling off our class play," | | | | Caroline snorted. "She's mean!" |
| Caroline snorted. "She's mean!" | | | | "Hmmm that must be a big disappointment for you," he |
| Jerry now began to feel frustration rise within himself, | | | | continues, "I know how much you were looking |
| as well. He knew how much work his daughter had | | | | forward to that." |
| put into preparing for the play and how much she was | | | | "Yeah, just because some kids fooled around at |
| looking forward to it. Unfortunately for him, though, it | | | | rehearsal. It's all their fault!" she says. Jerry looks at his |
| was going to be a short discussion. | | | | daughter silently, not persuaded by the pause to have |
| "You mean after all those rehearsals and all that work | | | | to say something. Caroline goes on. "And she's mad |
| she made you do to get ready?" Jerry responded. "I | | | | because nobody knows their parts, either." |
| agree with you. She must be mean to do a thing like | | | | Jerry answers with something simple to offer |
| that." | | | | connection. "Oh, I see." |
| Caroline was still visibly upset as she popped up off | | | | "She said if we "shaped up" she might give us one |
| the living room sofa and hurried up to her bedroom. If | | | | more chance....I better go over my lines again. Would |
| Jerry had perhaps been a better listener when his | | | | you help me tonight?" |
| daughter was ready to spill her emotions to him, he | | | | Jerry hugged his daughter. "Sure, just let me know |
| may have gotten the true explanation he was | | | | when you're ready." As she popped up off the sofa |
| searching for, while building a stronger bond with her. In | | | | and bounced to her room, Jerry could feel that his |
| the book, "How to Talk So Kids will Listen and Listen | | | | daughter's emotional tension had decreased. By using |
| So Kids Will Talk," the authors suggest that connecting | | | | active listening, he allowed her the space and |
| with a child emotionally will allow the comfort and | | | | permission to work through her feelings with him, while |
| safety to express more of his or her feelings. What | | | | strengthening the emotional connection with his |
| Caroline needed from her father at that moment of | | | | daughter. |